He feels a sense of relief now and he’s counting down the seconds and there are not so many of them now and they get shorter and shorter and he tries to remember, but it’s all too late and his uniform’s too tight and he smells of sweat, and in his dream he’s on his best behavior and he’s dancing in a little white suit by a river where it’s muddy and he’s singing for his parents the song they want to hear and he’s not swearing like a bastard now because he doesn’t want to upset them and he’s trying to make friends with all the other children and he’s covering his toys in shit because he’s starting to lose hope and it better come soon because he’s not as patient as he hoped he was and he’s older now and he can’t remember numbers and he’s frightened that it’s going to hurt and so if it isn’t quick he may start crying and he’s got to stay calm and he’s got to bite his tongue and grip his wrist and he’s got to remember to smile.

He dries off his face and rejoins his colleagues in the cockpit. And they ask him how he is and he says he’s fine. He says he’s good.

And there’s a passenger on this plane who thinks of herself as a flower on a cherry tree, opening her petals and falling through the sky. Scattering her sweet blossom bravely and beautifully on the ground. She thinks about writing a little poem about it on her drinks napkin, but she hasn’t got a pen.

And I thump out a little rhythm. Bump bump bump. Bump bump bump.

But it is an erratic beat. Like my heart. And my head is full of distracting questions. I am wondering how much physical hardship a human body can endure. I am wondering about the effects of oxygen on the function of memory. I’m wondering what sort of lard sea swimmers use to keep warm and where they get it from. I’m wondering if these are really the best circumstances under which to be telling a story.

And we are higher than a mountain and there’s no air above us. It’s all below us, at ground level, and it’s compressed by the atmosphere. And the pressure’s one kilo on a square centimeter, but it doesn’t bother them there as the blood is thick and it can stand it just fine.