“That’s the one. Anyway, he’s back now, but he doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it, not even me and I’m a therapist after all. Ha! Look, do we have to talk about him? I thought you mentioned something about a radio show.”

“Are you sure you’re up to speaking?”

“Yes . . . the radio . . . actually I might just get a glass of water.”

“Look, it’s not important. It’s the Penny Lock phone-in.” She sang out the number.

“What?” said Frankburg. He could hardly speak. Psychosomatic failure of the larynx.

Clara finished the call. Those British bugs must be ferocious.

219

John Heron asked reception if he could have a word with Penny during a commercial break. It was okay, he said, he was a personal friend. His wife had just been staying with her, they all went way back.

Reception told him to take a seat.

218

Edward the Fireman burst into reception and tried to get his breath back. He asked if he could have a word with “Dr. Frankburg” during a commercial break. It was okay, he said, he was a personal friend, they’d wept together many times.

Reception told him to take a seat next to John Heron.

217

“I’m afraid I can’t hear you,” said Tamy, thinking she may have a pervert on her hands. Not that that necessarily precluded participation in the show, but it was better if they were perverts with good diction.

“Put me [croak] on to the so-called Dr. Frankburg [cough].”

“You’re very hard to hear.”

“I am the real Dr. Frankburg. Please [rasp] put me [cough] on to the so-called . . .”

“I can’t put you on to the show if we can’t hear you. It makes for frustrating radio.”

“. . . get a lozenge . . .”

“This is ridiculous. Call back when you’re better.”

Tamy cut off Dr. Frankburg and made way for a Siamese twin from New Jersey.

216

“Hello,” said John Heron.

“Hello,” said Edward.

215

Frankburg sucked a lozenge furiously and rang Samuel Thorn’s agent to get Samuel Thorn’s number. He had to plead with her, which was difficult under the circumstances, but she gave it out when he promised that Sam could do Five Steps to Defeating Anxiety, planned for the spring. She said Sam’s rates were much higher now as he was on the brink of a serious TV-drama profile.

214

“Well, that’s an extraordinary story, caller, but technically that doesn’t make you a Siamese twin. Still, all of us here at KKRC hope you find her and thank you for calling. Okay, we’re going to the news now, but we’ll be back soon so keep those calls coming.”

Penny flicked a switch and the news kicked in. They brought it in from somewhere else. A guy with a commanding and authoritative voice read it from a studio in a bunker somewhere.

“Oof,” said Penny.

Tamy gave the thumbs-up. Okay so far.

213

“Hello?”