Hearing him say that for whatever reason didn’t really surprise me, but now, all I could do was imagine James punching things, all shirtless and sweaty, muscles bulging.

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He picked up his glass again and downed what little was left of the ice as if this topic made him uncomfortable. “I was beating the shit out of my poor punching bag when I smelled the smoke.”

“How were you not exhausted after the competition?”

“I was too mad to be tired.”

“Mad at what?” I knew what he had been mad about, remembered how angry he had gotten when Todd asked me out, but I was baiting him for the answer. I wanted to hear him say it out loud. I needed to hear him say that he was jealous, that he had feelings, even if I couldn’t return them. It was selfish and immature, but I still pushed.

“You went out to dinner with that asshole. I couldn’t stop seeing the way he looked at you.” He started to sound agitated, the thought getting him all worked up again, and I hated how much I loved it. “God, I was so angry with you.” His eyes crinkled around the edges, almost like he was in physical pain from just thinking about it. “I was so mad, Julia. And so fucking hurt.”

My world instantly stopped spinning, the air growing heavy with his admission. This was one of those life-defining moments; I was sure of it. The kind where I was presented with two options—to either carry on per usual, lying to myself and James about my feelings for him, or cross the line that no one in our family had ever dared to cross.

I pressed my lips firmly together before admitting, “I only went out with him so that he’d stop asking.”

“Kind of like what you’re doing now with me?” James sounded even more offended than before, and I hated that he could even think to compare himself to someone like Todd Lestare.

“No.”

“No?”

Now, he was the one pushing me on purpose. James was going to force me to say it, and I wouldn’t ever be able to take it back. Once this line was crossed, we could never uncross it. I was so caught up in the moment, in the way James was looking at me, the pain in his eyes when he talked about me and Todd, that I couldn’t let him continue to think the two men were one and the same in my mind.

“I actually want to be here with you,” I said before clarifying, “I didn’t want to be there with him.”

And, just like that, the world righted itself and started spinning again. The smile on James’s face filled me with something I’d never felt before whenever I looked at him—hope. Could there truly be such a thing for the two of us?