Her screams and his cries of distress. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Adam. She was the responsible adult and he was a child in her care. She had miscalculated, she had overindulged, and this was the result. So much less of her, so much more of him. He’s suffocating me, she realised. He doesn’t want to, but he is. He can’t help it. It’s not in his control. She pushed back at him. To save them both. But there was too much of him pressing against her. The constriction in her chest increased. She blacked out.

What is worse than a nightmare is waking up to find that it is not a nightmare. When Moni opened her eyes, she found herself rolling like a ball from side to side. She found herself tumbling and somersaulting in a concave enclosure crisscrossed by fine grooves. Her body had become round. Her arms hugged her legs, her forehead rested on her knees, her feet were drawn in. She had become bunched up. Constriction was her new consciousness, plus the lack of gravity, this loss of substance and weight. Where was she? Certainly not in the cottage. There was sunlight and air. She was outdoors and moving, carried along. It was Adam who was carrying her in the palm of his hand. The springy enclosure was his hand, the fine grooves that stretched out beneath her like patterns in a carpet were the life lines on his palms.

She screamed when his face loomed in close to her. The sheer magnitude of it. Nothing menacing in his smile or eyes. The same rounded cheeks and boyish chin. He could not help any of this. He had been eating the cookies she had baked and suddenly he had grown. ‘Put me down, put me down.’ He could not hear her. Hers was a small voice under the sky and she was no longer standing tall. Moni could not untangle herself. She could not stretch out. Her hands were clasped round her knees, neck arched forward, feet drawn in. She twisted and bounced in his palm. He was holding her loosely, but he could crush her if he wanted to. All it would take from him would be a gentle squeeze.

Rolling like a ball, rolling like a ball. Moni would be on her back looking up. Then she would be on her knees, looking down. On her left side and right side. There was no constancy, no stability. Put me down, put me down. She felt him moving in the forest, swiping at tall trees with his arms, terrifying and jolting her in the process. This is a temporary aberration, she comforted herself. He will return to normal, I will return to normal. This cannot go on. Surely. Surely. All the kindness I have given him, all the sacrifice.