“No, let the boy speak his mind. He’s entitled to his hurt feelings,” the Master said. He lifted Darla’s chin with his sharp nails as though she were an apple he was considering biting into. “After all, he lost the greatest jewel in creation.”

“Actually, the Marnoxon gem was being guarded by some grappler demons when the slayer broke into Arashmaharr,” Anya said.

Darla glared at her, which seemed to be difficult under the weight of her fake lashes. “He was referring to me. Before the Master and I got married, Angelus and I were. . .involved. For a century or two.”

Scandalized, Anya gaped at Angelus. “You dated your vampire mom?”

“It’s very common,” Angelus said defensively. He thrust an accusatory finger at Darla and the Master. “What isn’t common is for your sire to sneak out of the family crypt and then return, married and the leader of a brand-new cult!”

Darla splayed a defensive hand on her chest. “I invited you to join the Church! You declined!”

“You invited me as a friend to come live with your husband!”

“Which I thought was very magnanimous!”

“Bored now,” Willow said with an exaggerated yawn. “Domestic squabbles are so not how I want to spend my eternity. Can we see the flag so we can all go back to our afterlives?”

“Gladly,” Darla huffed. She looped her arm through the Master’s, her eyes never leaving Angelus. “Lead the way, hubby.”

The Master gripped Darla’s arm tight, his wrinkled head held high as he marched back up the church aisle and the steps to the pulpit. Behind him, the group formed a reluctant processional: Willow and Drusilla with Spike close at their heels; Anya, Andrew, and Jonathan clustered together; then Angelus, who waited so long to follow that Anya worried he might just leave and go back to the Bronze.

“Are we allowed to just announce when we’re bored with people talking?” Anya asked Andrew, tipping her head to indicate Willow. “Because when I did that at work, Human-Mike threatened to write me up for bad customer service.”

“I think it’s an undead perk,” Andrew told her. “They can just kill anyone who takes offense.”

Anya sighed as a dizzying pang of yearning hit her. “If I had my magic, I could send each of you to your own pocket dimension, where your clothes tried to eat you and food turned to ashes in your mouth.” Seeing Andrew’s and Jonathan’s horror-stricken faces, she added, “Not that I would! You haven’t done anything to earn my vengeance. You shared your chocolate and promised me more money. I just miss knowing that I could. You don’t understand how hard it is to be powerless. You’ve never been anything else.”