Anya tapped her chin. “That’s not bad. It doesn’t make me want to fall asleep halfway through like ‘Ripper and Rayne’s Metaphysical Boutique.’ What about just ‘Uncle Ripper’s’? That’s got some mystique to it. People might come in just to see what you sell.”

Ripper peeled back the lid of the pizza box, letting a cloud of steam escape. “Absolutely not. Shut up and eat.”

“Fine,” Anya said, drawing a floppy slice out of the box. Mushrooms and onions oozed off the sides. “Don’t listen to me. What do I know about capitalism? I’ve only been studying it since its inception.”

Anya took her dinner and Dram’s Encyclopedia to the end of the counter, where she could mostly avoid having to look at Andrew and Jonathan. Paging through the book, she checked for random artifacts she’d come across throughout her long life. The Orbs of Nezzla’Khan were presumably still being guarded by the giant, roachlike Nezzla demons. The Gem of Amara, which let vampires walk in the sun, had been lost since the tenth century—when hundreds of vamps had killed each other to claim it.

“Hey, Mister Ripper,” Andrew said between noisy bites of pizza. He and Jonathan were seated next to each other on the steps at the front of the store. “You’re British.”

“Well spotted, Andrew.” Ripper sighed. “What next? You want to discuss the wetness of water?”

“I was just wondering if you want to watch the new Doctor Who? I mean, if you have a cable package that gets BBC America—”

“I don’t have a TV in the shop,” Ripper said. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t use it to watch a kid’s show. Who hasn’t been worth watching since Tom Baker left.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Andrew said with a sputter of incredulity. “You lost me at not having a TV, but then this Peter Davison slander?”

“Oh, please. Next you’re going to tell me that The Phantom Menace was good,” Ripper said with a frown.

“It has its merits!” Jonathan exclaimed.

Andrew quietly cringed in disagreement.

Ripper fished out another cigarette from his pack with his teeth. He lit it and shot a stream of smoke straight into the air like a whale clearing its blowhole. “Restarting a franchise twenty years later is for new audiences and the die-hard fans. They pick the bones of the original like vultures.”

“Nuh-uh!” Andrew said. “It’s about building something new out of the old clay!”

Ripper pointed the burning tip of his cigarette at Andrew. “Leave the clay of my childhood alone, mate.”

Understanding nothing of what was being said made Anya bristle. She hated feeling left out. Almost as much as she hated being included.