How would I find a new best friend? one voice inside me asked. Another quickly answered, shouldn’t I be more excited about the future balls and dinners I would attend with Garland than worrying about girlfriends? Think of the parties Garland and I would have. He’d be too busy for the details. I’d be in control of all that. The great house would echo with my footsteps as I pointed to something and ordered that it be changed, dressed in a brighter color, or simply removed. I would shop and travel, even after the baby was born. I’d have a nanny and wouldn’t be tied down with any of the responsibilities most other mothers would have, those my mother had. Wasn’t this always my plan, my dream?

What I was feeling at the moment was surely simply the normal nervousness any woman would feel on the threshold of a new life. Despite the confidence I had displayed until now, I was afraid of this future that had come so quickly upon me. How could I navigate so many new pathways successfully? I had to adjust to the moods of a man who, unlike my father, wouldn’t necessarily put me, my pleasure and satisfaction, above his own. My own happiness depended on how well I did persuade him. Every day would bring new feelings, new fears.

I surprised myself by wishing my mother had remained behind with me. Suddenly, confiding in her and having her oversee every choice I made wasn’t so terrible. I couldn’t unburden my feelings with Dora or Mrs. Steiner. I certainly couldn’t discuss them with Garland. A man wouldn’t understand. I was going to make many mistakes, maybe tragic ones. To rid myself of these dark thoughts, I shook my whole body like a dog would shake off water.

“Get hold of yourself, Corrine Dixon. Don’t be such a . . . such a little girl,” I muttered.

“Hi,” I heard, and turned to see Garland. Had he heard me chastise myself?

“Hi.”

“Sorry about yesterday and last night,” he said, hurrying over to kiss me. “Were you all right? I sent Lucas back to check on you.”

“Lucas? I never saw him.”

“I guess everything was fine, then.”

“Where have you been? Why didn’t you come home?”

“You have no idea what planning all this involves. I certainly didn’t. I was with providers until dinner, and then I had this very important investment dinner meeting I had nearly forgotten. It went on and on, with a little too many toasts to our success, so I finally decided to stay over at the Caroline House. It was recently built, and I thought I should see what one of these modern hotels is like anyway. Someone is trying to get me to invest in a hotel chain all over the United States.