I hurried up to my room. No matter what I decided later, right now I had to tread over the truth as softly as someone walking over hot beach sand, hotter than the sand Garland had described in Spain. My first challenge was dressing correctly. I didn’t want to look like I was trying to overwhelm Garland with my beauty again. My mother would surely notice. Despite my situation, I hoped to avoid looking too anxious, too inclined to accept any offer he made. Even now, I would cause him to wonder if I cared enough about him to become the mother of his child, the mistress of his great house. Was it too late to follow what I thought was my guiding principle, never to let a man take anything for granted? Had I given that up and placed myself helplessly on his doorstep?

Of course, I wanted to see for myself how remorseful he was for what he had done. Despite my father’s willingness to permit him to present himself properly, I imagined it still would be difficult for him to come into our home and face my mother and especially me. How much did he believe she knew? Did my father tell him she knew nothing? If she asked either of us any questions about my trip to Charlottesville, we’d have to be very careful with our answers. It would be like walking over broken glass for both of us. We’d be tiptoeing through this dinner, wondering if at any moment he or I was about to blurt something that would set my mother’s eyes on fire.

I found myself rehearsing answers to probable questions. It was truly like being in a play. The curtain was soon to be raised, and when it came down at the end, there would either be just thunder or thunderous applause. I think I was still in too much of a daze to realize how much of my future, my life, depended on how this all went.

I brushed my hair and chose a deep-pink blouse to wear with an ebony skirt. The bodice was narrow in the shoulders, with thick gathered pleats over my bosom. I checked myself from all angles and slipped on my newest black shoes. On my way down the stairs, I overheard my mother questioning my father about Garland as if my father was on the witness stand in a courtroom.