Back Below the Belt Save as PDF
Chapters (67)
  1. Cover
  2. BOOKS BY STUART WOODS
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
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  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
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  65. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  66. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  67. What’s next onyour reading list?

Stone picked up the Times, and a story in the upper-right-hand corner of the business section caught his eye. “Listen to this,” he said to Holly, and read it aloud. “Nelson Knott, the online entrepreneur and Internet marketer of vitamin supplements, placed an announcement on his Facebook front page last night saying that he is forming an exploratory committee to consider a run for President of the United States as an independent candidate in the next election. Knott, who has at one time or another been registered to vote as a Republican, a Democrat, and a Libertarian, said, in part, ‘Like most Americans, I have lost faith in all our political parties to change the way we’re doing things, which is just awful. I will come to this race without any political baggage or ideology, pledged simply to do the right thing and to do it right. Let’s take our country back!’”

“Oh, that’s just wonderful,” Holly said wryly. “And look, there’s a photograph of him with his lantern jaw and that horrible black wig he wears, while swearing it isn’t a wig. He’s what, about six feet six?”

“Likely the tallest presidential candidate in American history,” Stone said, “according to the article.”

“I expect he’ll run on that. It’s about all he’s got going for him.”

“Do you think he’ll attract voters away from Kate?”

“My guess is that he’ll get a lot more Republican votes than Democratic ones.”

Stone turned to the inside page where the article was continued. “It says that the FDA has banned half a dozen of his supplements from sale, saying they contain little that’s beneficial except sugar and salt.”

“They’re constantly after him, but he still manages to flog tons of that stuff on late-night infomercials.”

“I don’t get it—who does he think is going to vote for him?”

“Maybe the people who buy his self-help books. There are more than a dozen of those tomes, and they’re hot sellers on the Internet. He claims to have put all the profits into investments that have made him rich.”

“Ah, yes, he claims to be worth five billion dollars, according to this article.”

“If anybody believes that, I’ve got a very nice, very tall monument, beautifully located on the Mall in Washington, that I’d like to sell them.”

Stone turned the page and found something else to read. He was on the crossword when the launch slowed and pulled up to the Breeze’s stairs.

“Just leave your luggage and I’ll have it put into your cabin,” the helmsman said, and they climbed the stairs, this time to be met by their host.

“Stone, Holly, welcome aboard again,” Christian St. Clair said. “Would you like to freshen up, or would you like a cocktail?”

“I’m pretty fresh,” Holly said. “I vote for the cocktail.”