Back Behind Closed Doors
Chapters (37)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. PENGUIN BOOKS
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘We tried so hard,’ Amanda told us, in a voice choked with emotion. ‘We tried desperately to hold on to our love.’ The vicar was frowning, looking perplexed. ‘But it seemed the darker side of love, the jealous, possessive side that Jesus warns us about, and which Ned, my darling nephew, has just reminded us is always there, would not let me in. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not self-seeking, and – most importantly – it does not dishonour others.’ Her gaze rested on me. ‘Isn’t that what Jesus taught us?’

My breathing became laboured. She’d tricked Ned into that reading, of course she had. It was the one Amanda had wanted him to read all along. The one that served her purpose. I couldn’t look at him. I knew he’d be looking stricken.

‘Love does not delight in evil,’ she told us softly, quoting entirely out of context, for her own convenience. ‘Evil,’ she repeated quietly, to a horror-struck, silent congregation. ‘For that is what it is, to keep a brother and sister apart.’

‘Bollocks!’ Imo was on her feet, shaking with rage. ‘You’re the evil one, you mad cow! How dare you even suggest such a thing? How dare you stand there, protected by some pious institution, when my mum did everything to include you? Your brother wrecked my mother’s life, he nearly wrecked all our lives, and now you’re trying to extend his legacy beyond the grave – how fucking dare you!’

‘Imo – darling—’ I was on my feet. She shook me off.

‘No, I will not let her get away with that! Just because we’re in a church, I will not!’

Ned had his arm around her shoulders. He tried to lead her away. The vicar was looking horrified. But she shook Ned off, too.

‘Haven’t we suffered enough at the hands of your family?’ Imo screamed to Amanda up in the pulpit. Amanda’s face was white. Livid. ‘Isn’t it enough that a bullying, frightening, terrifying man was able to control us for so long?’

Ned had her elbow in a vice-like grip now and was leading her away. And actually, she was done. Spent. She broke suddenly into noisy sobs. As one, we vacated the front pew, and with Ant, Helena and the girls hot on our heels, legged it down the aisle. Helena dashed to catch up with her niece.

‘Quite right, darling,’ she hissed. ‘Quite fucking right.’