I went up to change and came down wearing a dark green dress and holding a smart jacket and handbag. Dad had joined Mum on the sofa. Her feet were in his lap. They looked cosy. It wasn’t so long ago that Helena and I had beetled down here to separate them as they’d lunged, screeching and flailing at one another, out of control. I liked to think I had something to do with this new dawn.

I smiled. ‘Bye, you two. Dad, put the lasagne in the bottom oven for half an hour when you’re ready to eat, OK? Just to warm, it’s already cooked.’

‘Will do, love. Thank you.’ Then he gave me a steady look. ‘And good luck today.’

‘Yes, good luck, darling,’ whispered my mother, her eyes anxious for me.

It was all they needed to say, and for me to hear. They knew. And I suspect Dad felt guilty about not coming with me, not being by my side. But he knew, too, that he had to stay with Mum, and that actually, if he was honest, the pair of them were more of a hindrance than a help on these sorts of occasions. When did that happen? I wondered, as I took an umbrella from the stand in the hall and went to the car. When would Imo and Ned go from not just looking out for me, caring in a quiet, distant way – which they already did, discussing me over their sweet sibling suppers, which they’d always had, perhaps more than other siblings might, courtesy of their circumstances – but to finding me a bit of a responsibility? To be passed from one to the other. Who’s having Mum today? Who’s checked in with her? Eighty? Ninety, I hoped. As I strode to my car with a straight back and purposefully in my heels, I decided I’d be ninety if I was a day before anyone had to look out for me.

Helena was waiting for me outside the church, Ant and the girls beside her. My sister’s eyes searched mine as I approached, worried for me.

‘Helena didn’t want us to take another day off school, being a tiger mother,’ Tess told me. ‘But we’d already told Mrs Turner so there wasn’t much she could do about it. It was a fait accomplished.’

‘Accompli,’ Helena corrected absently. She was looking a bit thin and clenched, albeit elegant in a smart navy coat and taupe silk scarf. She glanced about nervously. ‘Come on, we’ve left it as late as we possibly can. Amanda’s been in there for ages, we have to go in.’

‘What about Imo and Ned?’ My eyes darted about for them.

‘They had to escort Amanda. She was getting … you know. I said to go on ahead and I’d wait for you.’