“Wave to the peasants, sister,” he says with his horrible rendition of a British accent.

“I swear if you flip this car, I will end you,” I shout, gripping the handle so hard my knuckles turn white.

He scoffs. “Stop being such a scaredy cat. Even Valkyrie is enjoying the ride.”

Glancing back at Valkyrie, I notice the crazy dog is somehow loving this. She’s standing with her front paws on the center console, ears perked, tongue lolling out in pure excitement. She wags her butt and whines like this is the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

“Oh, so you think this is fun?” I ask her.

Orion reaches over and scratches her ears, leaving only one hand on the wheel, which does nothing to ease my terror. “She’s got good taste. She likes the thrill.”

“You took a speed bump at forty last time I was in a car with you! That’s reckless endangerment, not a thrill.”

Orion waves a hand dismissively. “That was years ago.”

“It was three months ago.”

He laughs like that’s not a deeply concerning timeframe. “You’re so dramatic.”

“You drive like you’re being actively hunted, Orion. The only reason we haven’t died is because of sheer dumb luck and possibly divine intervention.”

He guns it through a yellow light that is definitely more red than yellow, and I nearly dislocate my shoulder with how hard I’m clutching the handle.

“I’m reporting you,” I mutter, squeezing my eyes shut as he takes yet another turn at Mach speed. “I don’t know who, but someone is going to hear about this.”

“Yeah? Who?”

“I don’t know! The government? The Pope? Your future wife? Someone needs to intervene before you kill us all!”

Orion just cackles, his head thrown back with his eyes no longer on the road. “Sel, there is no future wife. Do you think I could have anything more than a fling with my job? Not gonna happen.” Since he is the worst person alive, cranks up the radio like we’re on some joyride instead of a death trap on wheels.

By the time we miraculously make it into town in one piece, I stumble out of the car with weak legs and the overwhelming gratitude of someone who has just barely survived a natural disaster.

Orion smirks. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

I glare at him, shoving the door shut. “I’m sending you the invoice for my next therapy session.”

Valkyrie jumps out behind me, wagging her butt, completely unbothered.

Rude.

Orion just slings an arm around my shoulders, steering me toward the cafe. “Come on, drama queen. Let’s get you some coffee before you have a full-blown meltdown.”