The Bucksaw was packed for most of the day, a welcome distraction from Kirby’s incessant questions and Phaedra’s disenchanted expressions. When I wiped down the last table of the day and sat on the stool to count my tips, Kirby pushed me past my limit.

“At least tell me who is mad at whom!” she begged.

“No! Stop asking!” I snapped.

Phaedra crossed her arms. “Falyn, I want you to listen to me. There are thousands of couples out there who are childless by choice. Look at Chuck and me. Granted, we’ve got you girls, but we’ve always been happy. You’ve been honest with Taylor. He knows what he’s in for. You can’t force him to do what you think is the right thing.”

Kirby stared at me like I was on fire. “Oh God, Falyn, are you pregnant?”

“I’m out.” I grabbed my things and headed for the stairs.

By the time I finished my shower and crawled into bed, Taylor had texted me. I felt sick, worrying about what he might say, but I read the message anyway.

Day Two. You don’t have to respond. I know you want me to spend this time being objective, and I want this to be done, so fuck me if I don’t do it the right way, and you make me start over. Thought about you all weekend. Yesterday was the first Sunday I’ve had off in three weeks, and it fucking sucks that I spent it here without you. I’m half-missing you, half-pissed at you. Mostly, I’m wondering how you could think anything would be more important to me than you. Kids are important, and yes, our relationship is new. But if it means choosing, I choose you.

True to his word, Taylor had thought about my proposal all week, sending me one text every night.

Day Three. It’s only Tuesday. I feel like I’m going to go out of my fucking mind. You don’t have to respond, but I miss you like hell. It’s hard to think about anything else, but I am, and I still feel the same. This is the longest fucking week ever, and I’m worried you’re just going to tell me to kick rocks anyway. Are you? Don’t answer that. I’m going to go stay with Tommy for a couple of days to clear my head.

On the fourth day, Taylor didn’t text. I lay in bed, worrying until I thought I might puke. Feeling something heavy on my chest, my emotions were all over the place. I didn’t want to lose him, but if he wanted more, I owed it to him to let him go. That kind of selfishness would slowly poison any relationship.