“The last thing I said to my mother was that I’d try. What I’m about to do to Travis doesn’t feel like trying, not one fucking bit.”

“Really?” I asked, dubious. “All the work you’ve done on this case? All the strings you had to pull to get Travis recruited instead of sent to prison?”

“My dad is a retired police detective. Did you know that?” Thomas looked at me with his dark hazel eyes. He was neck-deep in his past, family baggage, guilt, and disappointment.

I wasn’t sure how much worse his story could get. Part of me was afraid he was going to admit to being abused.

Hesitant, I shook my head. “Did he…hit you?”

Thomas’s face screwed into disgust. “No. No, nothing like that.” His eyes lost focus. “Dad checked out for a few years, but he’s a good man.”

“What do you mean?” I said.

“It was right after she spoke to me for the last time. I was crying in the hallway, just outside the bedroom door. I wanted to get it all out, so the boys wouldn’t see me. I heard Mom ask Dad to quit his job at the station, and she made him promise that he’d never let us follow in his footsteps. She had always been proud of him, of his job, but she knew her death would be hard on us, and she didn’t want Dad in a line of work that could make us orphans. Dad loved the job, but he promised. He knew Mom was right. Our family couldn’t take another loss.”

He rubbed his thumb on his lips. “We came too close with Trenton and Travis. Along with Abby, they almost died in that fire.”

“Does your dad know?”

“No. But if something had happened to them, he wouldn’t have survived it.”

I touched his knee. “You’re good at being a federal agent, Thomas.”

He sighed. “They won’t see it that way. I spent the rest of my childhood trying to be a grown-up. I lost a lot of sleep trying to think of something else to be. I couldn’t let my dad break his promise to her. He loved her too much. I couldn’t do that to him.”

I reached for his hand and held it in mine. His story was so much worse than I’d thought. I couldn’t imagine how much guilt he carried around with him every day, loving the job he wasn’t supposed to have.

“When I decided to apply for the Bureau, it was the hardest, most exciting thing I’d ever done. I’ve tried to tell them so many times, but I just can’t.”

“You don’t have to tell him. If you truly believe he won’t understand, then don’t. It’s your secret to keep.”

“Now, it’s going to be Travis’s secret to keep.”