He turned, shooting a glare in my direction, and then he pulled the truck over onto the shoulder of the highway, shoving the gearshift into park.

“You wind up on the filthy floor of a gas station bathroom. You kiss me goodbye, and then you just fucking disappear. I’ve been stuck on a mountain, worried sick, Ellison. I had no way to get to you, no way to call around to find out if you were even alive, and even then, I didn’t sleep because every phone call I made led nowhere.”

I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve done a lot of selfish things, and I owe you more than one apology.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have left you at the apartment. I saw you struggling. You’ve been struggling for a while. I’ve taken you to a fucking bar, I pulled some strings to get you out of jail because you were drunk and looking for the fire, I’ve taken you to parties, and knew you were spiking your coffee at work … I’m your friend first, Ellie, and I’ve failed you on every level.”

Barb had explained to me the hurricane I would walk into when I was released from Passages. I wouldn’t only have to navigate my own guilt, but the guilt of everyone who loved me as well.

“Tyler, stop. We both know you couldn’t have stopped me if you wanted. I had to be the one to make the decision, and you loved me right up until I did.”

His warm brown eyes were glossed over, full of desperation. “We were both messed up the night we met, but the more time I spent with you, the more normal I felt.”

I breathed out a laugh. “Me, too.”

He paled, reaching for the glove box. He popped it open, clutching a small, dark red box. “Open it.”

The box creaked open, and I exhaled, searching for words that never came.

“You know what it’s like up on the mountain. Even when I’m digging ditches, there’s a lot of time to think. When Jojo told me you were coming home … I went straight to the jeweler’s. I can’t imagine anything else but being with you and coming home to you and … Ellie, will you—”

“This is a lot my first day back.”

He nodded a few times, and then snatched the box from me. He faced forward, hitting his steering wheel with the heel of his hand. “Goddamn it! I wasn’t going to say that. I told myself a hundred times on the way here not to tell you. You don’t need this right now. You just got home, and I’m throwing all this heavy shit at you.”

My chest felt tight. “I’ve put you through hell,” I said, sinking into guilt so deeply I wasn’t sure I could crawl out.