He didn’t answer, and I pushed open the door. Tyler was sitting on the floor with his knees up, his back against the foot of his bed.

“Just getting my stuff, and I’ll go.”

“Where are you going to go, Ellie? Just stay.”

“That’s not fair to you.”

He looked up at me with the same tired and ruined eyes I had seen so many times before. “You’re the only woman in the world I know could tell me half-ass that she loves me while breaking my heart.”

“I’m doing you a favor. You just don’t know it yet.”

“Bullshit. Quit fucking running.”

I pointed to the door. “Have you seen your cupboards? Your fridge? Crown, rum, vodka, cheap wine, and beer. I fall asleep wherever I pass out.”

“Not last night,” he said.

“I put Crown in my coffee and take it to work. I’m a drunk, Tyler.”

He shrugged. “So let’s make a call. Get you into a program. Doesn’t mean I can’t love you.”

“We had an agreement.”

He shook his head, looking to the floor. He closed one eye, the entire conversation more hurtful than he anticipated. “What if falling in love doesn’t break your heart, Ellie? We’re happy when we’re not fighting about being happy.”

“That’s not true,” I snapped.

“It damn sure is. Every time you think we’re feeling too much or too happy, you tap the brakes.”

“I’m just trying to stop before we start.”

He crawled to his feet. “Before we start? I just told you I’m in love with you!”

“You don’t know that,” I said, picking up my bag and filling it with the few things I owned.

Tyler walked over and grabbed my wrist. “You know how I know? Only love could hurt like this.”

I twisted away from him, thinking about the little boy in the photograph I’d placed on the mantle. “I was honest with you from the beginning. I told you I couldn’t. You said you were fine with it.”

“Well, now I’m not.” He held out his hands, gesturing to the room. “Why did you do all of this? You made us a home just to leave me alone in it?”

“I wanted to you to remember that I’m not completely awful.”

“Why do you fucking care?” he seethed.

Tears spilled over onto my cheeks. “I don’t deserve anything you have to offer, Tyler. I loved being with you while you let me, but anything past this…”

He laughed once in disbelief. “You don’t think you deserve me. Ellie…” He cupped my shoulders. “I’m a dick. Trust me, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. But I’m trying. I told myself a few weeks ago when I … that I was going to keep trying until I did deserve you.”