you know, a lot of times i just couldn’t make clear what was coming out ’a his mouth, he was really smart, though, had, like, two college degrees or something, and still wanted to work at public school, i kind ’a admired that. i was in his class, one of ’em, his first year. ’s great…he took us, my class anyway, on a bunch ’a stuff, field trips, like museums, and up to chicago one time. that was fun. we went there, maybe twenty-five or so of us, the school bus, and i remember we were going along that one road, runs past the lake up there… god, that was beautiful! he looked back, my teacher did, sitting up by the driver, and saw all of us kids smashed up against our windows and staring out, every one of us with our eyes glued to that water! so, he had the driver pull off at an exit and we got, maybe, fifteen minutes or so to run around on the beach…this was november…chase each other, throw rocks, whatever, but all i did was stand there, stand down by the edge of the surf and watch the waves coming in. there in my little red windbreaker, and i dunno, i felt like an astronaut. or a kind ’a time explorer, maybe, some scout or something, sent on ahead, down to earth to see just what the fuck all the fuss’s about…and taking it all in for the first time. you know? i still remember that. ’s kind ’a like that moment in that one movie, with all the monkeys and that one guy, he does those commercials for… planet of the apes, that’s the one. it’s like that, remember, when he rides down the beach and realizes that he’s home after all, and there’s no going back, and he’s screaming and everything, pounding his fist up at the sky, but he’s still sort ’a caught up in it all, too, like, taken in by the awesomeness of what he’s seen…i mean, it was better than that, i thought, maybe just because of my age at the time, it was better, but it reminded me of that a little, it did…

she stops, taking an extra long drag on her smoke.