“Well, girl, I just wanted to check on you. I’m stuck in Idaho but I’ll be back home in the morning just in time to do some Christmas shopping. You know, Christmas has changed, girl. It ain’t like it used to be. Last year I spent all my money on a bunch of gifts and I didn’t get shit. Not this year. This year, I’m buying gifts, wrapping them, and leaving them in the trunk of my car. When I get a gift, they get a gift.”

“Yeah, that’s the holiday spirit, Gail. I’ll be back tomorrow, too. I get in around three o’ clock and I can’t wait to get home. All this husband-hunting on top of working has worn a sistah out.”

“Well at least it’s for a worthy cause, right? All right, well, get some rest tonight. Call me tomorrow when you get in, I’ll come by and we can hang.”

“I will, good-night.”

“Good-night, girl.”

I fell into my bed exhausted. I slept through the night and went out window-shopping in the late morning to kill some time until my 1 p.m. flight. Once again the ringing of my cell phone interrupted my plans.

“RRRrrring!!!”

“Girl, you can’t go home just yet.”

“Gail, what are you talking about?”

“What I’m talking about is you have a flight in one hour.”

“Gail, I can’t. I’m tired, I’m worn out, and I’m—”

“I’m single. Say that. I’m pathetic, say that too. And I’m desperately in search of anything hairy with a heartbeat to showcase to my crazy family in less than fourteen days, say that. Girl, don’t start with me. You’ve got to get to Richmond to meet Langston, who’s on his way to D.C. So sharpen your shears, girl. Snip snip, hair gone. Good-bye.”

“Gail. Gail. Gail!” She had hung up.

She was right. It was now fourteen days, ten hours, fourteen minutes and counting until Sheree’s engagement party. I had no time to spare, and no time to argue with Gail. Besides, she had already hung up anyway.

I sprinted through the airport like O. J. Simpson in a Hertz commercial, hopped on trams like Edwin Moses, and weaved through the crowds like the Jamaican Olympic bobsled team, this time headed for Transcontinental Flight 812 with non-stop service to Boston. I had to go from Boston to Richmond just so I could get to D.C. It was ridiculous, but with time ticking away I had no choice. With less than ten seconds to spare, as the doors of the plane were just about to close, I shouted, “Wait for me!!!” Thank God it was a friend working the flight. I made it.

“Flight attendants, prepare your doors for departure.”