18 DAYS, 13 HOURS, AND 30 MINUTES TO “E-DAY”

My alarm clock buzzed. It was 6:30 a.m. on the sixth of December, exactly 18 days before Sheree’s engagement party. I opened my eyes, hoisted my legs from the bed, opened the window, and inhaled the unseasonably warm breeze flowing gently through the tree outside my bedroom window. Aaaah. Air never smelled so nice.

I turned on the radio. On 92.Q they were playing Maxwell, then Angie Stone, then a host of other neo-soul trying to be original-soul but lacking any real-soul artists. But it didn’t matter, they all sounded good today. Aaaah, air never smelled so clean.

The stage was set for an extraordinary day. Like my first day in high school or college, I was excited and scared at the same time. I had a set of new clothes, new shoes, a fresh hairdo, and more important, a new me. Aaaah, the air never smelled so fresh.

I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Was yesterday’s makeover only a dream? Whew! I smiled. I wasn’t dreaming, I really had been transformed. Still looking good. Hair still whipped and eyes still bright. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and stepped into the shower. To the rhythm of the music, I washed and scrubbed with soft-scented apple gel, lathering myself from neck to toe. After I rinsed off, I wrapped myself in a soft, thick, white cotton towel and stood in front of the mirror.

Slowly I lowered my towel and stood naked. It’s been a long time since I actually dared to look at my body completely naked. I sighed. I liked what I saw. I actually liked the image staring back at me. Eyeing my curves, embracing my swerves. I was God’s most beautiful creation. From my hips to my lips, I wasn’t perfect, but finally, I felt perfect for me.

I applied some face moisturizer. Then face vitalizer, neutralizer, and sanitizer. If men only knew the ridiculous lengths a woman goes just to walk out of the house, they wouldn’t complain about waiting for us so long. They’d be grateful we made it at all.

I sprayed my new fragrance once, twice, three squirts in the air, and then walked through the mist so that my whole body was covered from head to toe. I pulled out the step-by-step makeup manual for reconstructing my look and gently, very gently, calm, and collected, I repainted the painting. Like I was da Vinci and my face was the Mona Lisa, I painted. Thanks to Sam Fine, I didn’t do too badly for my first try.