Wait a second. Okay, now she is really trippin’. I am not on the witness stand. She’s in my house, the apartment that I pay for with the money that I work hard for. I don’t come over to her house unannounced, stick my key in her door, walk up her stairs, stand in her hallway like a Peeping Tom asking her a million questions. Why can’t she give me that same respect? Suddenly the words “Same actions, same outcome. New actions, new outcome” rang through my head. It was time I stood up to my mother. Time I let her know what a nagging, prying, boil on my butt she had become. Time to let her know that because of her, I’ve become a crazed, love-torn, husband-chasing fool that’s on a three-week hunt for a fiancé. My mother needed a wake-up call and I was the one to dial it. So, lifting my brow, squaring my shoulders, I looked directly into her eyes and I told her exactly what was on my mind.

“This is Gail’s dress,” I lied, buckling from the pressure. But wait, the lying got worse.

“Why are you wearing Gail’s dress?”

“’Cause she bought it for a birthday party and uh…well, she got caught up on a flight, and uh…didn’t have time to try it on, so she asked if I could try it on for her and uh…that’s what I’m doing, trying it on. I mean, it’s not something I would personally wear, but…” I was spinning, weaving, getting tangled in my own web of deceit. The sweat rolled down my face and she could sense I was sinking.

“Mmm hmm. And what about the hair? Why is your hair so short?”

“Uh…it’s a new regulation. Transcontinental came up with this stupid policy that all flight attendants have to wear their hair closer to shoulder length. You know, no more than ten centimeters lower than their ear. Yep…Stupid, huh?” I said with a lopsided grin, sprinkling my lie with canned laughter.

“Yes, very.”

Finally, she let me off the hook. “Well, anyway, I’m here to talk to you about your sister Sheree.” Whew. I sighed to myself, glad that the focus had shifted from me.

“Sheree? What’s wrong with Sheree?”

“Well, I had a conversation with her after Thanksgiving dinner and for some reason, all of a sudden she’s confused. All of a sudden she’s thinking that she doesn’t love her fiancé, and because she doesn’t love him, she thinks they shouldn’t get married. I don’t know where she would get such a stupid thought. I need you to talk to her.”

“Me?”