“Hey, baby girl…now, how come you didn’t—My God, girl, I need a pair of shades to look at all that! That man must be some kinda sweet on you!” he said smiling, with every other tooth in his mouth missing, looking like he had been chewing on a bag of rocks.

“Like candy, Uncle Clarence!”

And then passing Cousin Mertile from Memphis who stutters.

“M-M-M-Montana, you-you-look—” I’m sure she had another compliment but I didn’t have time to wait for her to finish her sentence.

I continued working the room, one by one, table by table, flashing, and grinning, finally I was winning. Every mouth from every table was open. All eyes were on me. I was in a state of blissful joy. Unspeakable joy. The kind that nothing or no one could quench. No one except—

“Montana, what the hell are you doing?”

No one except my mother. Grabbing my arm, pulling me to the side, she was, as usual, overdressed for the occasion. Hair over-done, makeup too made up, and full of drama. I was tempted to make a citizen’s fashion arrest, but why ruin my chance of grabbing even more laughs throughout the evening at her expense?

“Happy holidays to you too, Momma.”

“Save it, Montana. This is still your little sister’s engagement party. And you’re prancing around the room like it’s yours when I have yet to be introduced to this man that you claim to have.”

“First of all, mother, I’m not prancing. I’m sashaying. And second of all, the man that I ‘claim’ to have will be here at nine o’clock. And then I will not only introduce him to you, but to the entire family as well.”

“Nine o’clock?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“Um hmh.” Both of us looking at the large clock on the wall that by now read 8:12.

“Nine o’clock?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“Well, in the meantime, try to act like you’ve got some sense, please. The entire family is here and I don’t want you embarrassing me any more than you already have. Now, come say hello to Mitchell. He’s lonely because he doesn’t know anybody yet.”

Not wanting to argue, I did as she asked. Luckily for me, Sheree was there with her fiancé. Unluckily for me, she and her fiancé quickly moved on as they continued to work the room. I spent the next five minutes with Mitchell talking about nothing, then five more with my sisters Sarah and Sharon and their husbands talking about nothing.