Cutting him off, Mr. Donaldson quickly interjected. “Now, Langston, wait a minute. If your constituency knew you were a chauvinist it would take more than a campaign donation from me to get you elected. Prove to me and the rest of the voting public that you’re not. Since the lady orders it all the time, I’m sure she knows how she likes it.” I could tell Langston was boiling. But Mr. Donaldson was rich and offering quite a lot of cash. “Don’t mind us men, little lady, we have to sometimes be reminded that it’s always a woman’s prerogative to have her osso bucco prepared however she likes it.”

The waiter asked again. “So, Madam, how would you like your osso bucco prepared?”

Now, the pressure was really on. Not only did I have no idea how it should be prepared, I didn’t even know what kind of meat it was. Glancing at the menu, I tried to peek and find what category it was under, but my napkin covered the menu. Okay, osso bucco. Is it a fish? Is it poultry? Is it beef? Okay…if it’s fish, it could be seared, smoked or grilled. If it’s poultry it could be baked, roasted, or fried. If it’s beef it could be rare, medium, or well. It’s beef. Yep, it’s beef. No. It’s chicken. I’m sure it’s chicken. No, fish. It’s fish.

“Luis, I’d like you to smoke the osso bucco.”

The table fell silent. Then after a moment, Mr. Donaldson broke out in laughter. Luis followed. Mrs. Donaldson came alive. I joined in. But again, Langston was in no way amused.

On the ride home, you could hear a pin drop. Turns out osso bucco is shanks of lamb in a stew. We exited the car, entered the townhouse as Juicy rushed to his ankles, panting, licking, barking with joy.

“Good, Juicy. Sit, Juicy.”

I could no longer take the silence. I had to break it with what I thought would ease the tension.

“Langston, I really apologize for ruining your evening.”

“Ruining my evening? Ruining my evening?” he said, as his tone grew higher. “You did anything but ruin my evening. Mr. Donaldson doubled his contribution. The collard greens and the smoked osso bucco jokes were the highlight of his evening.”

“Well, you have to admit, it was sort of funny,” I said, feeling in a way vindicated.

“No, what I have to admit is that if you are to indeed accompany me to public places, you must first learn the proper etiquette and conduct becoming of a lady,my lady.”

“Etiquette, becoming of a lady? Langston, now come on. Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit far? I mean, just because I made a few jokes doesn’t mean I’m not a lady. Langston, honestly, sometimes I don’t think you realize who you’re talking to.”