‘New York! I thought the hesitating, whispering quality of your speech was a combination of my auditory hallucinations and your notorious indolence. It’s very disappointing to learn that it has a real cause. Why are you there?’

‘My father died over here, so I’ve come to collect his remains.’

‘Congratulations. You’ve achieved half-orphan status. Are they refusing to part with his body? Are they making you put an equal weight of gold in the opposite scales to secure the precious cargo?’

‘They haven’t billed me for it yet, but if there’s even a hint of exaggeration, I’ll just leave the rotten thing behind.’

‘Good thinking. Are you at all upset?’

‘I feel rather haunted.’

‘Yes. I remember finding that the ground beneath my feet seemed, if possible, more unreliable than usual, and that my desire to die was, if possible, even greater than before.’

‘Yes, there’s a lot of that. Plus quite a bad pain in my liver, as if a gravedigger had pushed a shovel under my ribs and stepped on it rather hard.’

‘That’s what your liver’s for, didn’t you know?’

‘How can you ask that?’

‘It’s true. Forgive me. So when are we two Olympians going to meet?’

‘Well, I should be back tomorrow evening. Could you get some gear, and then I’ll come straight round to you from the airport, without having to see the appalling Brian.’

‘Of course. Talking of appalling people, I wound up in the flat of some truly idiotic Italians the other night, but they did have some pink crystal coke which made a sound like a glockenspiel when it dropped into the spoon. Anyhow, I stole the whole lot and locked myself in the bathroom. As you know it takes a lot to ruffle the moronic tranquillity of those doe-eyed Italian dope fiends, but they seemed really pissed off, banging on the door and shouting, “Come out of there, you fucking man, or I kill you. Alessandro, make him come out!” ’

‘God, how hilarious.’

‘Sadly, I think we’ve said “Ciao” for the last time, or I’d get you some. It was really the stuff to take before pushing the flaming longship into the grey waters for the last time.’

‘You’re making me envious.’

‘Well, maybe we’ll finally kill ourselves tomorrow night.’

‘Definitely. Make sure you get a lot.’

‘Yup.’

‘OK, I’ll see you tomorrow evening.’

‘Goodbye.’

‘Bye now.’

Patrick hung up the phone with a faint smile on his lips. It always cheered one up talking to Johnny. He immediately dialled a new set of numbers and settled back on the pillows.

‘Hello?’

‘Kay?’

‘Baby! How are you? Hang on, I’ll just turn down the music.’

The sound of an exasperated solitary cello grew suddenly muted, and Kay returned to the phone. ‘So how are you?’ she asked again.

‘I haven’t managed to get very much sleep.’

‘I’m not surprised.’