Back B Is for Burglar
Chapters (29)
  1. "B" is for BURGLAR
  2. Prologue
  3. Chapter 1
  4. Chapter 2
  5. Chapter 3
  6. Chapter 4
  7. Chapter 5
  8. Chapter 6
  9. Chapter 7
  10. Chapter 8
  11. Chapter 9
  12. Chapter 10
  13. Chapter 11
  14. Chapter 12
  15. Chapter 13
  16. Chapter 14
  17. Chapter 15
  18. Chapter 16
  19. Chapter 17
  20. Chapter 18
  21. Chapter 19
  22. Chapter 20
  23. Chapter 21
  24. Chapter 22
  25. Chapter 23
  26. Chapter 24
  27. Chapter 25
  28. Chapter 26
  29. Epilogue

I sat there while an incredibly painful, probably permanent bruise formed on my knee, trying to figure out what I should do next. I didn't want to leave the scene now that I had the enemy in range. There wasn't a public phone within miles, and who was I going to call anyway? I thought about getting out of the car and creeping up to the house, but I've never had very good results with that sort of thing. There are never windows open where you want them to be. On the few occasions when I've managed to eavesdrop, the subject matter has always been irrelevant. People just don't sit around verbalizing the pertinent details of recent crimes. Peer over a windowsill and chances are you're going to watch the villains play Crazy Eights. I've never seen anyone dismember the body or divvy up the bank heist. I decided to stay in my car and wait.

There's nothing as conspicuous as someone sitting alone in a parked car in a residential neighborhood. With any luck, some worried homeowner would spot me and call the cops and then I could have a nice chat with someone in uniform. Mentally, I organized a condensed version of the murder plot so I could tell it succinctly when the time came. The house was quiet. An hour and forty-five minutes passed and the gathering darkness gradually reduced visibility to mush. Lights in houses all up and down the street came on, including Lily Howe's. Somebody sprayed the neighborhood with barbecue cologne. I was hungry and I wanted to take a leak and I couldn't decide if I should risk squatting down behind someone's bush. I don't feel I suffer from penis envy, but in moments like this, I do yearn for the anatomical advantages.

At 9:23, Lily's front door opened and Leonard and Marty came out. I leaned forward, squinting. There weren't any lingering farewells. The two of them got in the car, slammed the doors, and backed out of the drive. I waited until their car had disappeared and then approached the house. The porch light had gone off. I knocked. There was a moment of silence and then I heard the chain slide into place. Lily had read all the manuals on rape prevention. Good for her.

"Who is it?" came the muffled voice from inside.

I reduced my voice to a whisper. "It's me. I forgot my handbag."

The burglar chain slid back and Lily opened the door a crack. I pushed forward so fast, the door almost broke her nose. There was a clunk and she cried out, but by then I'd closed the door behind me again.

"We have to talk," I said.

She had a hand to her face and tears had risen in her eyes, not because of any damage I'd done, but because she was upset to begin with. "She said she'd kill me if I said anything."