FIRST CAMPER: I’m a Rotary man myself and I’m used to a bit of—

ALL: Organising!

FIRST CAMPER: So I started mentioning a few, what you might call, grievances.

THIRD CAMPER & FOURTH CAMPER: [together] Not major grievances.

FIRST CAMPER: But grievances just the same, that we—the ordinary regular camper—is experiencing.

SECOND CAMPER: And since you’ve been coming here as long as anyone we felt it important to include you in this initial group.

FIRST CAMPER: With your lady wife as well.

JIM: I don’t have any grievances.

FOURTH CAMPER: A spot so far from the water, for example!

JIM: Luck of the draw, first in first—

THIRD CAMPER: But mightn’t you feel that as a camper of many years standing you might expect a spot closer to the water?

SECOND CAMPER: As opposed to someone, say, who happened to turn off the highway taking pot luck?

JIM: Like I said, first in—

FIRST CAMPER: We’ve been considering an idea of somehow assuring regular campers a better deal.

ALL: A priority system.

FIRST CAMPER: Of reserving spots by the water.

ALL: The longer you’ve been coming here the closer to the water.

FIRST CAMPER: And there’s the shower and toilet block. It needs expanding.

SECOND CAMPER & FOURTH CAMPER: [together] It isn’t coping at all.

FIRST CAMPER: We were thinking of approaching Council to build us a proper brick and cement structure. Toilets, showers and a small shop selling essentials, hot food.

THIRD CAMPER: Beachy things.

SECOND CAMPER & FOURTH CAMPER: [together] You know.

FIRST CAMPER: Also laundry facilities.

FOURTH CAMPER: And a large kitchen area.

FIRST CAMPER: For when those women folk really feel the need to cook up a storm.

THIRD CAMPER: They should feel right at home while they’re on holiday.

SECOND CAMPER & FOURTH CAMPER: [together] Something a bit smarter than the old primus.

FIRST CAMPER: We’re also a little concerned about some of the people who’ve started putting in an appearance over the last few years.

SECOND CAMPER & FOURTH CAMPER: [together] Drifter types.

THIRD CAMPER: Not proper families.

FIRST CAMPER: And some of the New Australian campers might need to be reminded of the way proper Australian families run a holiday.

SECOND CAMPER & FOURTH CAMPER: [together] They’re not bobbing around in the

Mediterranean now.

FIRST CAMPER: There’s also a beautification plan under way. We want to remove—

ALL: All those trees!

FIRST CAMPER: They pose a serious threat in any sort of wind.

SECOND CAMPER: A branch from one of those could put a nasty hole in your caravan.

FOURTH CAMPER: And the kiddies are always as risk from—

SECOND CAMPER & FOURTH CAMPER: [together] Ticks.

FIRST CAMPER: We think there should be some sort of caretaker too, to look after the grass. Also we’d like to see some solid steps down onto the beach, with handrails, to make the beach more accessible to everyone.