CORAL: You’re a sensible person.

RICK: You’ve got to think of the future.

CORAL: That’s right.

RICK: I was scared stiff I’d get called up. I missed out being a nasho by one number. It’s like a lottery, you see.

CORAL: Yes, I’ve heard about it.

RICK: They just pull the birthdates out of a hat, more or less. Before you know it you’ve won two years in the army. We all watched it on TV. Bit of a party. My month got closer and closer. I was sweating, drinking faster and faster, and my day was coming up, and it just missed. I nearly passed out when he called out the number after mine. Nearly fell on the floor. Two of me mates went.

CORAL: Did they?

RICK: Yep. Off to fight the Commos.

CORAL: In the jungle.

RICK: I s’pose. Christ, I was scared.

CORAL: And you got married.

RICK: Yep.

CORAL: [laughing] Comparisons are odious.

RICK: Sorry?

CORAL: Marriage or the jungle.

RICK: Oh, right. Yeah.

CORAL: Or up in a helicopter. You see, I’m much better at communicating with others.

RICK: You are, that’s for sure…

CORAL: Do I remind you of anyone?

RICK: Ahhh. Dame Pattie?

CORAL: Well—

RICK: Was that the wrong thing to say?

CORAL: No, no.

RICK: I don’t know what’s happened to Susie.

CORAL: You would have made a good soldier. Footslogger.

RICK: No fear.

CORAL: You’d have made it into the army very easily. You would have breezed through the medical. The uniform would have fitted you like a glove. Your hair might have needed a bit of a trim.

RICK: Bit of a Beatle.

CORAL: It’s a wonderful colour. So thick.

RICK: I like her a lot. I’ve known her since school. She was very keen to get married. She’s really nice. You’d like her. She’s a bit shy, but. When we’ve saved up for a house we might think about kids. Till then…

ROY rushes in, his jacket half on. He stops and gets his breath.

ROY: I wondered where you’d got to.

CORAL: Rick’s on his honeymoon.

ROY: Congratulations, son. [To CORAL] I told you to wait for me.

CORAL: I’ve been having a terrific time. We’ve been talking about the standard of living in this country.

ROY: They’re serving dinner.

CORAL: We can’t leave Rick.

RICK: I’ll wait for Susie.

CORAL: Sit with us when you come in.

ROY: [leading her away] He’s on his honeymoon, darling. Let him sit where he likes.

CORAL: [to ROY] I’m doing well, aren’t I? I’ve started taking such an interest in the world around me. Have a lovely Christmas morning, Rick.

RICK watches them go, checks his watch and waits for his wife.

SCENE TWO

A tent and caravan city.

GWEN carries a twelve-inch fake Christmas tree.