This fight was four average supernaturals against a benandanti, a werewolf and a mountain lion. Even without training, I think we could have taken them. Maya and Daniel had disabled their adversaries as soon as they heard the others coming. Then, Derek joined in, and I sat on Rae and relaxed as I listened for it to be over.

“You’ve changed,” Rae said, her first words since Derek had captured her.

“Uh-huh.”

She tried to rise. I held her firmly, being clear that escape attempts would be frowned upon.

“You’re as bad as he is now,” she said.

“No, I’m as good as he is. Which doesn’t mean being able to fight makes me a better person. But I’ve adjusted to the situation, because the situation is unlikely to adjust to me.”

“You’ve really changed.”

I have. But Derek says I’m still the girl he fell for, because when he fell for me, I’d already been evolving. So had he, learning to be less angry with the world and more a part of the world. That doesn’t mean he’ll ever be a cheerful extrovert like Simon. No more than I’ll ever be a cold-hearted bitch like… Well, Tori’s not what I thought she was at Lyle House either. None of us are. A couple of adjectives can’t define anyone. In the right situation, I can be a cold-hearted bitch. Or at least I can play the role.

“You don’t need to live like this,” Rae said. “Always on the run, always fighting.”

“We don’t.”

“Because you think you’ve found a safe place. Badger Lake. It’s not real. You know that, don’t you? It’s just brainwashing. They’ve convinced you that you’re happy.”

“I am happy.”

The words came without hesitation, and I paused after I said them. Was I happy? Yes. There’s part of me that feels I should be pacing like a caged lion, looking for a way to escape, but even Derek isn’t. That’s not brainwashing. We know we’re living in a cage, and we wouldn’t want to live there forever. But for now, it’s kind of like being in an amazing boarding school, and we know that’s intentional—Sean pampers us to show us how good Cabal life could be—but if we keep our eyes open to the truth, I think it’s okay to say “I’m happy.”

Rae kept going on about brainwashing and the evil Cabals. I let her, because, as long as I didn’t argue, she thought I was listening and hoped I’d “escape” with her. I wasn’t listening, though. I was focused on the others as they disabled their attackers. The second the fighting stopped, the thump of running footfalls followed. Derek appeared in the alley mouth, blood on his T-shirt.

“Not mine,” he said, catching my look of alarm.