At that morose evaluation a huge weight eased from Orman’s mind. Good. The lad sees it. The victory – such as it was – hasn’t fed any false youthful cockiness. ‘I lost my duel,’ the youth said, and the pain in that admission squeezed Orman’s chest.

‘It’s all right, lad,’ Old Bear said. ‘Why, I’d be surprised if you won your first. That’s why we’re together. We cover one another. Next time maybe you’ll save Kasson’s life, hey?’

Jass merely shrugged. ‘It wasn’t …’

‘Wasn’t what?’ Old Bear asked.

‘… wasn’t what I thought it’d be.’

Over Jass’s head, Old Bear’s single eye caught Orman’s gaze and fixed there. He patted the lad’s shoulder. ‘It never is, lad. It never is what we think it’s going to be. It’s ugly, and confusing, and a blur and full of the acid of fear. Then it’s over and you don’t quite remember what happened but you’re either alive or you’re not. And there you are.’

Orman was nodding. ‘Yes. That’s how it was for me.’

Jass looked up at him. ‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘You were scared?’

‘Yes I was. Only a fool wouldn’t be.’

The youth let go a long breath. ‘Well … I was very frightened.’

Old Bear cuffed him again. ‘’Course you were! Only natural. First time’s always the worst – hey, Orman?’

And Orman nodded, frowning with the memory of it. Yes, it had been.

The next day Gerrun announced that he ought to return to the lowlands to see what was going on. Old Bear waved him off, as did Orman and the brothers. They watched him go and Orman couldn’t help reflecting that the man was now headed down to the towns loaded with the coin and goods he’d pocketed from all those dead mercenaries. It occurred to him that perhaps Gerrun was enjoying the best of both worlds – the fine clothes and wine of the lowland towns, and the comradeship and belonging of the highlands – and he felt a hot surge of resentment towards him. Then he recalled the man’s role in hiring along with the invading parties, even the armies, spying on them and guiding them to ambushes, and he decided that the fellow pretty much earned every lead penny of it.

They returned to the highlands. From time to time grey shapes appeared in the woods to walk alongside them. Orman found that he no longer paid their ghostly visitors any mind at all.