“This one, you need to be in the same house. But I’m getting in a whole new generation shortly where you can be on the other side of the planet. All you need is a phone and an app.”

Della blinked. Wow…there really was an app for everything.

“And a good wifi connection,” Rosemary mused. “You don’t want to be on the brink of calling out to Jesus and suddenly have buffering issues.”

Winona laughed. “That would be inconvenient.”

Rosemary tapped her temple. “Us country folk gotta think of things like that. The internet around here can be as hinky as a two-dollar watch.”

Frieda reached for the last vibrator in line. “Now this beauty is the very latest model I have. Came in a few days ago.” It was purple and was more of a U shape. The vaginal prong of the U was shorter and thicker than the other vibrators. The other prong was about the same shape but flatter with a central…mouth? “It’s called The Suck-u-buzz and uses direct suction on the clitoris.”

In unison, Della, Winona, and Rosemary all leaned closer as Frieda turned it on and both ends vibrated. “Watch.” She turned her arm over and placed the mouth on the underside of her wrist. Della watched—they all did—as the skin drew taut around the mouth, then released as if it was actually sucking. “It uses sonic waves and pulses to provide a direct stimulus not to just the external structure of the clitoris but the parts you can’t see. It has eight different settings, and it’s waterproof so you can take it in the shower or a hot tub.”

“Is it any good?” Winona reached for it, placing the mouth on her inner wrist, too. She stared at the object as it sucked on her arm, her expression inscrutable. “Have you tried it?”

“Oh my, yes. Mind-blowing. Best I’ve ever had.” Frieda pressed her palm to her chest as if trying to still palpitations. “Trust me, sugar, you won’t want to be operating heavy machinery for at least an hour or so after you’ve used it.”

Della was entranced by The Suck-u-buzz. It was the most fascinating of all Frieda’s BOBs. And who could beat such a personal recommendation?

“Let me see that thing,” Rosemary announced. She held her hand out for it, and Winona passed it across. She turned it on and attached it to her skin exactly where the others had tested it out. “Mmm.” She nodded. “That is good. And I wouldn’t mind an upgrade. Had the rabbit for a while now.” She switched it off and passed it to Della. “Probably going to need a little something extra, too, now that my sons have made it clear they don’t approve of my dalliance with Ray, and he’s insisting he do the honorable thing and stop seeing me.”