"You're right. That's the logical place to start." He exhaled noisily. "But you should call Cyrus, find out if he knows anything."

"He probably won't, but Dahlia will know. She's still working for the Soul Eater." I bit my lip, feeling somehow like Judas for what I was about to say. "I'm worried. That he might be… "

"A double agent?" Nathan tried to imitate a Sean Connery as James Bond accent and failed, Scottish though they both might be. "I'm sure this will come as no surprise to you, but I've considered it. Unfortunately, he's the only source we have."

I rested my chin on my hands. "Has your life ever been, you know, boring?"

"You mean, have I always been on the side of good battling against the greatest evils known to vampire-kind?" He gave me a lazy grin. "No. I think that all came about when this bossy woman stepped into my shop about four months ago."

"And nearly had her head chopped off by your juvenile-delinquent son." Though I'd said it in jest, I wished I could unsay it. Not because I thought Nathan would take offense to my poking fun at Ziggy, but because we rarely, if ever, spoke of him. The pain was still too fresh.

Nathan laughed softly, lost in memory. I reached across the table to take his hand, but he stood and went to check on the coffee, which was doing fine on its own.

"Sorry," I offered lamely.

He shook his head. "Don't be. You're trying to acclimate me to talking about him. It's for my own good. There are times I forget he's gone, and talking about it, especially here… "

"Makes it more real." I knew exactly how he felt. When I'd first gotten the call about my parents' accident, I could have run across my college campus screaming, "My parents are dead, my parents are dead." But once I'd gone home for the funeral, I'd clammed up. For good.

I didn't want that to be the case with Nathan. "You can't just hold on to things forever. You tried that before. Look what it got you."

"I know." He stared at the liquid dripping into the carafe. We waited a long time in silence until the coffee was done. Then he poured out two mugs and spiked them both with the liquor. "Blood?"

"Please." I watched as he poured a little blood into each mug, and waited for him to bring them to the table. "Muddy pink. Just the way I like it."

He smiled. "Do you know how many times Ziggy accidentally drank human blood?"

I had to remember to smile encouragingly, lest Nathan clam up again. Gross, though.

"I used to trick him, too. You'd be amazed at how much corn syrup and red food coloring look like blood when you mix them together." Nathan got that faraway look on his face again. "Carrie, am I betraying him?"