"Excuse me! He ripped my heart out, not the other way around!" I conveniently glossed over the fact that I had killed him another way. Still, Nathan's attitude, that Cyrus was somehow right in lumping us together with the vamppires who'd killed his girlfriend, chafed me. "You might be okay with calling yourself a monster, but I'm not!"

Nathan looked up, true concern on his face. "I had no idea this bothered you so much."

"Well, it does." I shook my head. "All of it does."

He returned to my side, this time a little more cautious. "Don't let him get to you. You're putting a lot of importance on what he thinks of you."

"I know." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "And I know that has to worry you. 'Cause of what happened before."

"What do you mean?" Bless his heart, he honestly didn't understand.

"When I left and went to Cyrus." I looked away from the hurt in Nathan's eyes. "I wouldn't blame you if you thought I'd do it again."

His expression darkened. He seemed truly wounded that I would think he would think I was capable of that kind of betrayal twice. "Don't ask me to mistrust you. Carrie, you went to him because you were saving my life. I have no doubt that if you were put in that situation again, you'd do the same thing. It's one of the reasons I—"

My heart leaped up like a puppy begging for table scraps. It must have shown on my face, because he quickly cleared his throat and looked away.

"Well, that I trust you, anyway." He turned away and headed toward the door. "I'm going to get some blood. Want any?"

I patted my stomach a little too enthusiastically and injected syrupy cheer into my words. "Nope, made a pig of myself already."

"Okay," he answered, in a tone that clearly conveyed my cheerful act wasn't working. The door clicked shut behind him and I slumped on the bed.

It's not that I wished him to think I was going to go tearing back to Cyrus at any moment. I wanted Nathan to trust me. But another part of me wanted to protect him from myself. He was clinging to the belief I'd only gone to Cyrus before because Nathan's life was on the line. The truth was, I'd have ended up there, anyway.

Now, Cyrus was human. There wasn't anything left of the monster he had been. I'd been afraid of him then, but oddly in love with the bit of humanity I'd glimpsed beneath his surface. Now that he was all humanity, I couldn't trust myself where he was concerned, and I certainly didn't want Nathan to.

"Why do you want to go with me?" Bella asked.

Max ground his teeth. First Nathan wanted to keep him from heading east, now Bella? "Because you can't take care of yourself."