“I thought …” Maya took a deep breath. “I wasn’t sure if they would let me start it again if I did. Panoplies don’t just fail—”

“You think I don’t know that? Which one of us is the fucking arcanist?” Having gotten onto a good swearing streak, Beq seemed determined to continue. “Someone was trying to kill you, and you found out, and you decided to just … let them have a shot?”

“I didn’t see much other choice.” Maya scratched the back of her neck, embarrassed. “I was a little busy at the time.”

“Chosen fucking defend, Maya.” Beq sucked in a breath. “I have never been so scared in my life. Watching you charge Tanax, and every second thinking this is going to be the moment where you get ripped into bloody chunks. I just … I couldn’t move. Couldn’t even close my eyes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’d better be sorry.” Beq stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Maya, pressing her face into Maya’s shoulder. Her spectacles dug painfully into Maya’s skin, but Maya didn’t complain. “If you do something that fucking stupid and get yourself killed, I’m never speaking to you again.”

Maya didn’t think it was the moment to point out the inherent contradiction there. Beq sniffed, pulled off her spectacles, and pressed her face against Maya’s uniform. Maya gently hugged her back.

“It’s all right,” she whispered as Beq’s frame shook with sobs. “I’m all right.”

“You won,” Beq murmured after a while.

“I won.”

“Now what?”

“Now I go and find Jaedia. She needs my help.”

“I’m coming with you.” Beq’s muffled voice was fierce.

“Of course you are,” Maya said, hugging her a little tighter. “I need you.”

“Okay.” Beq released her hold, slowly, and pulled away. She wiped her reddened eyes and fumbled her spectacles back on, blinking. “Okay. As long as we’re clear on that.”

“As a centarch I can choose my own support personnel,” Maya said. “Not that I would make you come if you didn’t want to, of course. But you can travel with me as long as you like, and there’s nothing the Order can do about it.”

“That’s … good.” Beq sniffed. “I’m sorry I called you a crazy plaguepit.”

“It’s all right,” Maya said. “I probably deserved it.”

“I need to sit down.”

Maya guided Beq to the chair and poured them each a mug of water. She took a seat on the bed, facing Beq.

“We have to leave as soon as we can,” Maya said. “I don’t know where Jaedia is now, but the longer we wait, the harder she’ll be to find. And the worse trouble she might be in. Can you be ready by tomorrow?”