“Please, be seated,” he said, wondering idly which of them would make the first complaint.  The overweight man pretending to be a naval officer or the blonde-haired girl who looked thinner than a plastic doll?  James had seen children with more meat on their bones than her.  “We have a great deal to get through and not much time.”

The reporters should have been briefed on Nelson Base, but James had already privately resolved to run through everything again, anyway.  It wouldn't be the first time, Lieutenant Abramczyk had warned him, where a PR officer on a base had neglected to tell the reporters what they needed to hear, fearing that it would destroy his career.  James hadn't been surprised at all to hear it.  Reporters, in his experience, were rarely smart enough to realise that the military’s rules and regulations existed for a reason.

“How many of you,” he asked, “have embedded on a military starship before?”

A handful of hands – four in all – went up.  James sighed, inwardly.  At least they weren't all virgins.  It wasn't a reassuring thought.  Even modern carriers suffered their fair share of accidents when new crewmembers moved in ... and some of those accidents were lethal.  The reporters were even less prepared for Ark Royal than James himself.

“Right,” he said.  “This is a military starship – and a very dangerous environment.  Cabins have been assigned to you; I strongly recommend that you remain in your cabins unless you have an escort.  If you choose to leave your cabins, bear in mind that there are some parts of the ship that are completely off-limits without prior permission and an escort.  Those locations are detailed in your briefing notes.”

He paused.  “I understand that you will want interviews with crewmen,” he added.  “Such interviews will be arranged upon request.  I advise you not to interfere with crewmen as they go about their duties, or to attempt to force them to be interviewed.”

“But you’ll have a chance to brief those you let speak to us,” one of the older reporters objected.  “We want unprepared interviews.”

James tried not to roll his eyes.  If the reporter had suspected that every one of the prepared interviewees would toe the party line, he shouldn't have said it out loud.  Or was he laying the groundwork for attacking the navy if the interviews didn’t turn up anything he wanted?  Or was he simply an idiot?

“None of them will be briefed ahead of time,” James said.  He shook his head, then pressed onwards.  “All of your reports will be viewed by the PR staff before they are transmitted home.  Certain pieces of information, outlined in your briefing notes, are not supposed to be included in public reports.  If you include them, you will be placed in the brig and left there until we return to Earth, whereupon you will be handed over to the police.”