“I don't know,” Rose confessed.  “I want you and I don’t want you and I don't want to hurt your children and yet I don’t care if they get hurt ...”

It took Kurt a moment to untangle her words and understand just how conflicted she was.  “I understand why you came to me,” he said, carefully.  “I wasn't only experienced” – Rose gave him a look that told him precisely where he could shove his experience – “but I was also safe.”

“Most starfighter pilots are selfish,” Rose said.  “You weren't selfish.”

Kurt almost pointed out that Rose had been having an affair with one, which had resulted in her assignment to Ark Royal, but stopped himself just in time.  It would have been thoughtlessly cruel to say something like that to anyone, particularly someone who had lost the lover in question soon afterwards.  Survivor’s Guilt had probably played a big role in Rose’s decision to find someone else as quickly as possible.

And you are not blameless, he told himself, shortly.  You didn't say no when she took off her top, did you?

Rose had been more than a little selfish herself, he acknowledged, but he hadn't been much better.  No, he corrected himself ruthlessly, he hadn't been better at all.  He’d made love to her despite having a family back on Earth, a family that would be torn apart by his betrayal ... and it was a betrayal.  Perhaps he could have sat down with Molly and talked their way through their problems, sharing blame as well as responsibility to find a resolution.  Who knew – maybe they’d separate, but stay close for the sake of the kids.

And that might be tricky, he thought.  Because you certainly didn't consult with Molly before finding someone else ...

“I was,” Kurt said.  Rose gave him an uncomprehending look.  She was young and far too used to the immature idiocy of starfighter pilots who knew they could die at any second.  It would be years before she gained the perspective that would show her that love wasn't just about sharing a bed, but sharing an entire life.  “I could have told you to fuck off.”

A faint smile ghosted over Rose’s cheeks.  “No man has ever said that to me,” she said, deadpan.  Someone her age would have missed the pain hidden under the boasting.  “And I’d bet that none ever will.”

“Probably not,” Kurt said.  He cursed himself mentally, then looked up at her, trying not to imagine her body under her flight suit.  It would be so easy, he knew, to pull her to him ... and he was certain she wouldn't object.  His cock twitched at the thought.  But it would send the wrong message.  “Rose ...”

He leaned forward.  “What we did, when we thought we would both die, was wrong.”

“I didn't notice you objecting,” Rose pointed out, snidely.