Rose made him feel young again, he admitted, in the privacy of his own thoughts.  He was old enough to be her father, just about; there was no denying that the thought of making love to her was a hell of a turn-on.  And the danger, the looming threat of death or discovery, added a certain kind of spice to the whole affair.  But afterwards, assuming they made it home, where would they be?

It wasn't fair on Rose, he knew, to tell her that he would leave Molly.  Even if he wanted to leave his wife, he wasn't sure what he could say to the children – and he didn't want to walk out of their lives.  It was bad enough that his current job could end his life in a split-second leaving them alone.  He knew it would be worse if he walked away from their mother, leaving them even though he was still alive.  Or would he wind up competing with Molly for their affection?

“Neither do I,” Rose said, practically.  She walked forward and sat down on his lap, wrapping her arms around him.  “I don’t expect to survive the next few weeks and neither should you.”

Kurt blinked at her.  The feel of her body pressing against his was hellishly distracting, but he didn't want to forget what she’d said.  “You don't expect to survive?”

“We’ve lost fourteen pilots so far,” Rose pointed out.  There was an oddly dispassionate note to her voice.  “I had someone in the analysis section run through the numbers for me.  The odds of any of us surviving any given battle with the aliens are terrifyingly low.  Sooner or later, our luck is going to run out and the aliens will kill us.  Don’t you know that to be true?”

Kurt nodded, wordlessly.  The fewer starfighters Ark Royal could deploy, the greater the number of alien pilots that could be vectored onto each starfighter.  And the aliens, damn them, didn't need to worry about watching their ammunition.  Rose was right; sooner or later, a lucky shot would blow them into flaming debris, ending their lives before they even knew what had hit them.  And the odds of the carrier making it back to Earth were very low.

“So here’s my idea,” Rose said.  She shifted position until her breasts were pressing into his chin.  “We enjoy ourselves now, between duty shifts.  If we die, we die; if we live, you can go back to your family and I won’t say a word.  This isn't ... this isn't a normal situation.”

“I know,” Kurt whispered.