As we drive down the road, I can’t help but take note of all the abandoned cars. Dust has settled on each, and some of them are beginning to rust. No doubt gas was siphoned from them ages ago, and anything useful has probably been taken by Gabe and his soldiers. I’ve made plenty of car raids over the past three years. Most of the time when you come across an abandoned vehicle, it’s pointless to look. If you’ve happened to come by it, so has someone else. That thought never stopped me when I was desperate, however. When pangs of hunger are replaced by the need to vomit, though nothing will come up; when exhaustion hangs on your shoulders as though you’re carrying a backpack full of dumbbells; when all you want is reprieve, something to boost you…you’ll look.

We go by the cars as silently as if we just passed a cemetery. At some point Gabe tells me we’re going to a place called Sturgis and tells me how to get there. It’s about twenty miles west of Crestwood and he says that we’re going to try and clear the town. I think it sounds like a pretty big job for just four, no, five people, but he assures me that Sturgis is even smaller than Crestwood so it shouldn’t be a problem. I’m not so sure. I’ve been in places smaller than Crestwood that felt as dangerous as the greyskin-infested New York City. I shudder to think about being in such a giant metropolitan area then and now. Regardless, it doesn’t take much for greyskins to overwhelm a small group such as ours.

I try to keep my eyes straight ahead as we ride in an awkward silence. I would have thought that Paxton would be quite a conversationalist given that he was the leader of the town, but he is as silent as the rest of us, lost in his own thoughts. The quiet only adds to the feeling of betrayal that won’t let go of my mind. Betrayal is the word for it. If Paxton is here to get to me or punish me somehow; if he knows what I did, then the only way would be because Gabe told him. But if they were just going to kill me, why would Gabe have handed me my weapons back? I suppose they could be just dropping me off, but if that was the case, why would they have me drive? If neither of these scenarios are even true, then why would Paxton be tagging along acting as though Gabe should have been expecting him? I think about the moment when he asked Gabe for a weapon like it had been talked about beforehand.