Gabe tousles the sheets and pulls up the mattress to look as though he’s trying to find something. When it seems messy enough, he stands and looks at me, clearly displeased. It didn’t occur to me until now that he had probably already known about the gun. I bite my lower lip and raise an eyebrow at him as the other two guards come near us.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” I ask.

“No,” Gabe says, not taking his eyes away from mine. “Looks like we’ll have to search all of the other apartments until we do.” He finally turns to the other guards and instructs them to move on to the next apartment. When they leave the room, Gabe walks up close to me and whispers in my ear. “I want to talk to you this evening.”

“It’s a date,” I say.

He steps back from me and shakes his head, clearly not wanting to joke, but I just bite my lip again and smile. After what I did, I doubt he’s going to want me in with the soldiers, but at least he gave me some time to get rid of the journal. He doesn’t say anything as he leaves the room, and I stand here in the quiet for a few moments.

I shouldn’t have taken the gun. The look of disappointment in Gabe’s eyes was enough to make me feel sick to my stomach. I know I haven’t known him for a long time, but people get closer faster in this new life, and what Gabe thinks of me is kind of important. But I needed the gun. Having it under my mattress last night gave me such a sense of comfort and protection. I’m sure if I hadn’t been busy listening in on soldier conversations the whole night I might have slept well. And I know I will sleep well with it under my mattress tonight. And why shouldn’t I have a gun? How could the citizens here be okay with a law that strips from them their only means of protection? I was never okay with it, but I was forced to accept it.

No longer.

I listen for the next few minutes as Gabe and his two cronies search the other apartments below me. As I turn my ear across the town to other apartment buildings, I can hear some guards searching the rooms frantically, while others explain courteously why they have to barge into the home and look for something that someone stole. I’m sure Gabe doesn’t think all this fuss is worth it.