I go around to the other side of the desk and slowly pull out the middle drawer. Gabe said that Lillian had mentioned putting in a request with someone called Shadowface. I shake my head at the thought. Someone that calls himself Shadowface couldn’t have had too many friends growing up. I smile at my own thoughts, but can’t help but wonder why someone would need to disguise himself…or herself. I haven’t been a part of this town for very long, but having secret dealings with someone that keeps his own identity a secret seems…shady. Part of me doesn’t care what these people do so long as I have a roof over my head, and food in my stomach. I’ve long given up on caring about the corruption of leaders and people that go on power trips. It seems to always lead to death.

I catch myself staring at the open drawer, forgetting to look through its contents. This happens sometimes. My thoughts take over my mind and I forget where I am. It can happen to me anywhere, at any time. I think about the last group I was with before I lost them. Two had been bitten. Another was eaten completely. Then I was separated from the last one in our group. I bite my lip and shake my head sharply.

How can I be so stupid? I can’t keep going into a daze like this. Those people are gone. I’ve got walls now. The greyskins are a memory. Now I can spend the rest of my days in Crestwood in peace.

I stare down at the desk and my heart beats like a drum in my chest. What am I doing? Why am I risking my future in Crestwood just so I can work as a soldier? Why do I even want to be a soldier? Shouldn’t I just be happy watching after those snot-nosed kids where I’ll be safe? What do I care if Gabe feels uneasy about some loser that calls himself Shadowface? It means nothing to me.

But I’m here now. The desk is right in front of me. I push aside papers and pens, looking for the journal Gabe told me about. I reach for the drawer to the left when my eyes see the drawer on the far right. It has a lock. I reach for my small screwdriver and insert it. I’ve always found that doors tend to have easier locks to pick than safes and drawers because of the size difference, but the drawer pops open after a few attempts.