“I know you don’t,” he says. “You said it to Gilbert yourself. If you had no hope, you would already be dead.”

“I was mostly just saying that to get under Gilbert’s skin,” I say. “Every time he opens his mouth I want to shut it for him.”

“I know what you mean,” Ethan says. “I was actually going to leave him before you and Lucas came around.”

“Really?”

He nods. “When you two showed up, I decided to stay. I hoped you two would bring a fresh perspective. You know, help with decisions and all.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” I say.

He grins slightly. “You haven’t disappointed anyone. At least you have a head on your shoulders.” He lifts the stick and points to the SUV. “Gilbert doesn’t listen to anybody, and he doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” He clears his throat. “Not like you, though. At least you seem to care about others.”

“Lucas and I were a good team,” I say. The words are hard to say and they catch in my throat. To speak of Lucas in the past tense seems wrong. It feels like a lie. My fingers tug at the ring.

“Did Lucas give that to you?” Ethan asks.

My eyes don’t leave the fire. I want to answer Ethan and tell him where the ring came from, but I can’t. That moment in my past is particularly hard to think about it.

“How long had you two been traveling together?” Ethan pretends that he never asked the previous question and I am grateful.

A tear slips down my cheek. It’s not the first. It won’t be the last. To think that we made it through so much for three years made his death even more painful. The promises he made me rang true every day. Every attack we encountered, we survived. Until now. “Three years,” I manage to say.

Ethan nods. I know he feels awkward with me sitting here crying in front of him. He doesn’t know me enough to know that a strong arm around my shoulders would go a long way. But in truth, it’s not Ethan’s arms I want around me.

He’s about to say something when we both hear a snap behind us. Without hesitation, we drop to the ground onto our bellies. He shimmies up next to me, his bat held firmly in his left hand. My hand balls into a fist and I bite my lip when I realize that I must have left my hatchet next to Lucas and I’m completely weaponless.