Cover

Dedication

For Kristine and Sky

March 13

I LURCH UP FROM THE BED, GASPING FOR AIR. IT TAKES SEVERAL breaths, several heartbeats, before I’m aware how badly my head hurts. Like I have the worst hangover of my life. Which makes no sense. But my mouth is parched, my tongue swollen, my teeth rancid, like something crawled up in here and died.

What the hell? I try to swallow, but my throat snags on itself, making me gag. The gagging becomes coughing—hard, dry waves that feel like they’re splitting my ribs open.

Relax, I tell myself. Breathe through your nose. Relax, relax, relax.

The coughing stills, and I catch my breath, head tilted back like Coach D taught me. The ceiling fan of my bedroom is motionless. A single fly buzzes around the wooden blades.

I swing my legs over the bed and set my feet on the floor, blinking to clear eyes that are as arid and hollow as skeleton sockets. I try to stand.

Something bites at the back of my hand, and I lift my other hand as if to smack a bug, but I freeze, palm raised. It’s an IV. The entry site is swollen, bloodless, and aching, like a giant hive. The clear IV line stretches up to a 1000 ml bag hanging from a pole. It’s daisy-chained to several identical bags. They’re all wrinkled like raisins, empty of fluid.

I don’t remember getting an IV.

Everything is bright and hazy, silent except for that stupid fly. I peer toward my alarm clock, which is a small plastic basketball with a wedge cut out for the digital insert. My eyes don’t want to focus, but through sheer force of will, I make them.

4:17 p.m. I should be on the court with my team.

No, I remember now; I went to bed right after dinner. So I’ve been asleep almost twenty-four hours.

My throat had been hurting all day. Something about my depth perception had been off, too. At practice, I missed two bounce passes from Shawntelle; both times I put my hands out to catch the ball, but it sailed right past me. Hey, I hear the JV team has room on the bench, Shawntelle teased.

Later, at the table with Mom and Paul and Ryan, my whole body started to ache, and I knew with a sinking feeling that I was getting the flu. The one that had put half of Columbus out of commission. Even though I’m completely up-to-date on my flu shots. Mom had made my favorite, baked mac and cheese with garlic bread, but I went to bed without finishing dinner.