He stood and began to dress. He put on black cargo pants and dropped a couple extra magazines for the Glock into the pockets. He pulled on a tight dress shirt and strapped the Glock on over it. He slid steel-toed boots onto his feet. He closed the weapon box again and slid it back onto its perch near the top of the closet.

What if Gunner found that box?

Its up high, where he cant see it and he cant reach it. Even if he somehow got it down, its locked with a digital lock. Only I know the combination.

A garment bag with two days of clothing changes hung on the rack. He grabbed it. A small bug-out bag packed with travel-size toiletries, reading glasses, a stack of energy bars, and half a dozen Dexedrine pills sat on one of the shelves. He grabbed that, too.

Always ready, right, Luke? Youve got your box with your guns and your bags with your clothes and your drugs and youre just ready to go at a moments notice, whenever your country needs you. Am I right?

He took a deep breath.

I dont know what you want me to say.

Why dont you say: Ive decided not to go. Ive decided that my wife and son are more important than a job. I want my son to have a father. I dont want my wife to sit up for nights on end anymore, wondering if Im alive or dead, or if Im ever coming back. Can you do that, please?

At times like these, he felt the growing distance between them. He could almost see it. Becca was a tiny figure in a vast desert, dwindling toward the horizon. He wanted to bring her back to him. He wanted it desperately, but he couldnt see how. The job was calling.

Is Dad going away again?

They both turned red. There was Gunner at the top of the three steps that led to his room. For a second, Lukes breath caught in his throat at the sight of him. He looked like Christopher Robin from the Winnie the Pooh books. His blond hair poked up in tufts. He wore blue pajama pants covered with yellow moons and stars. He wore a Walking Dead T-shirt.

Come here, monster.

Luke put his bags down, went over, and picked up his son. The boy clung to his neck.

Youre the monster, Dad. Not me.

Okay. Im the monster.

Where are you going?

I need to go away for work. Maybe a day, maybe two. But Ill be back as soon as I can.

Is Mom going to leave you like she said?

Luke held Gunner out at arms length. The boy was getting big and Luke realized that one day soon he wouldnt be able to hold him like this anymore. But that day hadnt come yet.