Chapters (23)
‘No,’ Alex said. ‘How can she forget when she’s living so close to them all? She and Simon should have moved away when they got married. Here she’s always reminded of failure.’
‘I wish you would tell me what this is all about!’ It was a cry of frustration. Alex was apologetic.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘ I can’t tell you the details. It wouldn’t be right. It’s not only my promise to Joanna. There are other complications …’ She looked away. ‘Look,’ she said. ‘I can tell you this much. She was taking heroin when she was at college, but it wasn’t only that that screwed her up. She had an affair with a married man, one of her lecturers. I don’t know, perhaps with him she was really happy. She never got over it. He promised her the earth then deserted her when she needed him.’
‘I see,’ Molly said. ‘Thank you for telling me.’
‘I think that’s why she married Simon,’ Alex said. ‘He was safe, unimaginative. She thought she would find some sort of peace with him.’
‘But it didn’t work?’
‘He was crazy about her,’ Alex said. ‘For years he tried to give her what she needed, but she was too tied up in the past. In the end I think he gave up.’
‘But they’re still married?’ Molly said. ‘There’s never been any question of divorce?’
‘No,’ Alex said quietly. ‘There’s never been any question of divorce. The present arrangement suits them both too well. Simon enjoys being Marcus Grenville’s son-in-law, especially since he’s started up in business by himself. He likes to have an attractive wife to take to business dinners and conferences. And Joanna enjoys the security of the relationship. It gives her the freedom to work. She knows Simon will make no demands on her as long as she entertains his colleagues and is pleasant to his clients. It’s not my idea of marriage but it seems to work for them.’
In the playpen the little boy snuffled in his sleep and turned over. Alex stood up and brought the coffee jug to the table. Without asking she refilled Molly’s mug.
‘And you?’ Molly asked. ‘Did you ever marry again?’
Alex looked at the baby. ‘ No,’ she said. ‘There have been men, of course, over the years. Some of the relationships have been stable enough. But when the commune drifted apart I got used to being here on my own, just me and the children. It was selfish, I suppose, but I never wanted to share it. I’m a teacher by training and I work as a supply if something comes up that I fancy. That way I don’t get stuck in a rut. I have a feeling, you know, that marriage would bore me.’