“I was dealt a pair of aces but I also had four clubs — ace, three, four, five. So on the draw I broke the pair of aces. I discarded the ace of hearts and went for the deuce, the two of clubs to make the straight flush. They keep a progressive bonus pot going for a straight flush. It was up to about three thousand dollars. That’s what I was going for.”

“So what happened?”

“I didn’t get the deuce. I didn’t even get a club to make a flush. What I got was the ace of spades.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, I threw down an ace only to get an ace. I stayed in with that but didn’t come close. Three tens won it — the pot was about three hundred. So if I had kept the ace of hearts I would have ended up with three aces and been the winner. I blew it. That’s when I left.”

Bosch didn’t say anything. He thought about the story and wondered if she was trying to say something else. Tossing the ace of hearts, aiming for the bigger pot, failing.

After a few minutes of silence, Eleanor spoke again.

“Were you out on a case? You hadn’t been in the bed. I could tell.”

“Yeah, I got a call out.”

“I thought you weren’t up on rotation.”

“It’s a long story and I don’t feel like talking about it. I want to talk about us. Tell me what’s going on, Eleanor. We can’t . . . this isn’t right. Some nights I don’t even know where you are or if you are all right. Something’s wrong or missing and I don’t know what it is.”

She turned and moved under the covers until she was next to him. She put her head down on his chest and brought her hand up to caress the scar on his shoulder.

“Harry . . .”

He waited but she didn’t say anything. She moved over on top of him then and started a gentle rocking motion with her hips.

“Eleanor, we need to talk about this.”

He felt her finger glide across his lips, telling him not to speak.

They made love slowly, Bosch’s mind a jumble of conflicting thoughts. He loved her, more than he had ever loved anyone. He knew she loved him in some way. Having her in his life had made him feel whole. But at some point he could tell that Eleanor had realized she did not have that feeling. For her there was something missing and the realization that they were on separate planes brought Bosch down as low as he had ever felt.