“Happy birthday, you big giant whore!” Rae shouts behind Jack.

“Excuse me?” Xavier pops back into the common room.

“You must be Xavier! I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Rae, Chase’s best friend in the entire world—sorry, Benny, but it’s true—” she says, and Benny pretends she stabbed him in the chest. As she’s introducing herself, Rhett emerges. “Hi! Who are you?”

“Rhett.”

“I don’t know a Rhett,” Rae says, obviously going through the Rolodex of my roommates in her mind.

“Makes two of us,” Benny mumbles.

“I’m Jack’s roommate,” he says.

“Oh, we love Jack.” Rae yanks Harry forward. “This is Harry, my boyfriend—” She babbles on a little more, making small talk as she usually does.

I’m not listening.

Jack and I are locked into each other’s eyes.

Hard-core.

We only break our gaze when Rae barrels fully inside my room. He blinks, looks down, and turns to meet Rae, who throws her arms around him.

Once she pulls away, she sets her sights on me. “There’s my birthday whore!”

Her loud voice pierces my brain. She hops onto my lap and straddles me, hugging me so tight that I almost can’t take the pressure. I watch, helplessly, as Jack walks out of my room and into the common room to meet up with Benny. When she tries to pull away, I keep her close.

“You okay, boo?” she whispers, and I nod. “You sure?” she asks.

“Absolutely.”

Which is partially true. I haven’t processed the poem and what it means, but it does mean something. Is this gift a message? A sign? That’s what Rae had said after Jack’s first poem. Maybe he feels about me the way I feel about him. To be fair, I’m not sure how I feel about Jack because this is entirely new territory for me. All I know is that I want to be near him all the time. I want to stare at his beautiful face just to wait for the moments he smiles. When I’m not with him, my body screams at me to go find him, even if we’re just sitting in the library together, not talking as we study. I’ve had crushes before, but this? This feels bigger. More important. Terrifying.

Xavier’s head peeks into my room. “Who’s down for pregaming? I got tequila.”

“You’re speaking my language,” Rae says. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a handle of cheap vodka. “I brought this.”

“Shots for everyone!” Benny shouts as he wraps his arms around Xavier’s waist.

I look for Jack, but he’s disappeared into the common room.

Something tells me I’ll forever be chasing Jack.

The group sticks close together as we walk off campus in the pitch-black darkness toward Chloe and Sofía’s house. Benny leads the way with the help of Google Maps, while the light from Xavier’s phone serves as a beacon to light our path.

Everyone is buzzed-on-the-verge-of-drunk except for me and Jack, who told me he doesn’t drink because he doesn’t like the taste. I’m too nervous I’ll say something to him I’ll regret, so it’s better to be sober. I shot off texts to Chloe and Sofía warning them that I might be bringing a few extra people, but they haven’t gotten back to me, and the closer we get, the more my stomach curdles.