But I’m not sure marriage will bring long-term happiness to Alexandra Richards. I think Walt Rainbird, in his own, different, way, could prove to be quite as coercive a husband as Craig Griffin. Maybe I’m being cynical, though. And maybe Alexandra had been so starved of affection since birth that she’d welcome even the smothering kind.

Unsurprisingly, I haven’t heard anything from Niall Connor. There was a big fuss in the press when Grace Bellamy came to trial and was convicted of murder. She was given a relatively light sentence in quite a relaxed prison. No doubt she’s already writing a series of articles and a book about the experience.

On the domestic front, well … What I feared was inevitable has happened. Ben has once again dropped out of university. I’ve had very friendly conversations with someone who I think described himself as Ben’s ‘pastoral tutor’. He says he’s sure Ben can restart his second year next year, but I wonder. It’s happened once before. Ben could be in his thirties before he finishes his undergraduate course.

Right now, he needs to be at home with me, and I like that more than I should. He’s got to face the real world at some point, and I know I should be encouraging him to get out and do something.

He claims he is doing things. He says he’s working off his own bat on the ‘Riq and Raq’ animation, but again I wonder … Certainly spends a lot of time on his computer in his room but I’m not sure if he’s achieving anything. I’d be delighted to be proved wrong, though. Some award for a Best Short Animation. I can dream. Mothers do about their children. Dream, and worry. Both go with the job description.

I’m afraid there’s been no mention of Tracey since Ben’s been back at home.

One good thing that’s developed is that he’s done more work with Dodge, painting the furniture. It looks wonderful, they’ve done some brilliant stuff.

But even there I see problems ahead. True to his principles, Dodge doesn’t want to make any money out of what they create. He wants to give it away to deserving causes. And Ben feels they should be more commercial, actually sell the stuff. It’s certainly of a standard to compete in the market.

I know where Ben’s coming from. It’s not greed. It’s guilt. He feels he should be making money, bringing in some income to defray the expenses of his living at home. It’s not a problem for me from the financial point of view but I know, for Ben, it’s a matter of pride.

Oh well, no doubt things will sort themselves out, one way or the other. And at least I know where my son is and what he’s doing. Ben’s so vulnerable and I love him so much. Too much, perhaps?

As for his sister … well, Jools and I have certainly had more contact since I went to Herne Hill. Still only brief phone calls, but more texts. All at a very superficial level. With me, as with Fleur, she’d gone back to the easier route of ‘being someone else’. But I treasured that moment when she’d been ‘herself’ with me. And, knowing it was possible, I live in hope of it happening again some time. I’d have fallen apart long ago if I hadn’t been an optimist at heart. Optimists frequently fly in the teeth of the evidence.