“Those of you don’t know me, I’m Abe Madden,” he said, and there was another little ripple of movement. “I know that some of you blame me for not realizing sooner that those boys were being killed. Maybe, like some of you think, I let what I wanted get in the way of what I should. I wanted those boys to be okay, just out sowing a few wild oats. I should have been looking harder for them, asking harder questions. Some in my own department told me that.” He might have been looking at the current sheriff when he said that. “Some in my department thought I was right. Well, we know now I was wrong, and I ask your forgiveness for a great mistake I made. I was your servant while I was in office, and I let you down.” And he went back to his seat.

I’d never heard anything like that before. What it must have cost the man in pride to do that…I couldn’t even imagine. Tolliver was less impressed. “Now he’s confessed and asked for forgiveness,” he whispered. “Can’t anyone point fingers at him anymore; he’s paid his debt.”

A member of each family spoke, some briefly, some at length, but I heard very little fire and brimstone. I expected some homophobic stuff, given the nature of the murders, but I didn’t hear any. The anger was directed at the rape, not at the sexual preference of the rapist. Only two family members spoke of vengeance, and then only in terms of the law catching the responsible party. There was no lynch talk, no fist shaking. Grief and relief.

The last speaker said, “At least now we know this is at an end. No more of our sons will die.” At that, I saw a sudden movement in the Bernardos’ pew. Manfred was gripping Xylda by the arm, and her face was turned toward his. She looked angry and urgent. But after a few seconds, she subsided.

We might as well have left then, for all I got out of the rest of the service. I was drowsy and uncomfortable, and I wanted nothing more than to lean my head on Tolliver’s shoulder and fall asleep. That would clearly be the wrong thing to do, so I focused on sitting up straight and keeping my eyes open. At last the service was over, and we sang a closing hymn. Then we could go. I stepped out of the pew first since I was on the end, and a grizzled man in overalls took my hand. “Thank you, young lady,” he said, and then began making his way out of the church without another word. He was the first of many people who made a point of touching me: a light hug, a grip of the hand, a pat on the shoulder. Each contact came with a “Thank you,” or a “God bless you and keep you,” and each time I was surprised. This had never happened to me before. I was sure it would never happen again. Doak Garland embraced me when we reached his spot at the door, his white hands light on my shoulders so he wouldn’t hurt me. Barney Simpson, towering over me, reached out to give me a light pat. Parker McGraw said, “Bless you,” and Bethalynn wept, her arms around her remaining son.