“I don’t know,” Xylda said after a lengthy pause, and I raised my face to stare at her, trying to figure out what she meant. Manfred was coming back to the table to leave a tip. Tolliver was in line at the cash register. We were in a cone of strangeness together. “But there are more important things for you to think about first,” Xylda continued.

I hardly understood how anything could be more important than finding my sister’s body. I slid out of the booth and started struggling into my coat, while Xylda began scooting to the outside. Manfred helped me get my right arm into its coat sleeve and draped the coat over my left shoulder. He bent slightly and gave me a kiss on the neck as he did so. He did this so casually that it seemed churlish to make a big deal out of it. In fact, it wasn’t until I saw Tolliver’s face that the light kiss really registered on me. Tolliver was absolutely inclined to make a big deal out of it, and I gripped his arm with my good hand and began marching toward the door, forcing him to come along.

“It was nothing,” I said. “I wasn’t even thinking about it. He’s just a very young man with a sick grandmother.” I’m not sure what sense that made, but at the moment it just slid right out of my brain and then my mouth. “We’re just going to this meeting now. Come on, or we’ll be late.”

Somehow we both ended up in the right car and Tolliver turned on the motor to get the blessed heater started. He pulled my seat belt across me with unnecessary force, and I squeaked because my arm hurt.

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding very sorry at all. “He rubs me the wrong way. He just crawls around you. All that stuff in his face and God knows where else! Just waiting to touch you.”

Instead of keeping quiet and letting things die down like I ought to have done, I said, “Isn’t it okay that someone likes me?”

“Sure! Just not him!”

Tolliver would rather I got together with Barney Simpson or the Pastor Doak Garland? “Why not?”

There was a long moment of silence while Tolliver struggled with that question. “Because he, well, he actually stands a chance with you,” he said. “Other guys don’t because we’re always traveling and you aren’t going to see them again, but he understands the lifestyle and he has to travel, too, with Xylda.”

I opened my mouth to say, So you don’t want me to have anyone? But a power beyond me shut my mouth. I didn’t say anything. This was closer to the bone than I’d imagined Tolliver would get, and I was scared to take it any further.

“He’s younger than me.” I had to say something.