I froze in utter horror. Then, in a rush, I realized what was happening. It was my course, my damn monthly course; the one thing I had forgotten about in my preoccupation. I swore and swore again, my eyes burning. The underwear was stained, my thighs streaked with dull red. I pulled back the sheet and saw a small rust-coloured splotch, soaked into the cotton. I ripped away the bedding and bundled it up. I would have to get rid of it, or sneak it into the laundry hamper, so the laundresses assumed that it was Lady Bailey’s.

Grabbing out a handkerchief, I wet it from the pitcher and began to scrub at myself frantically. At the inn I had been surrounded by other women, by their cramps and cravings, their drawers full of rags and lint, their belts and pins and girdles to deal with a monthly flow. Here, I had nothing.

I forced myself to breathe, to think calmly. I had to hide it. I couldn’t just stay in my room and feign illness until it passed. What if they sent for a doctor?

I found some of the old bandage I had once used to bind my chest and wadded it up, winding the rest around the tops of my legs and my waist. It wouldn’t do for long. I needed sanitary napkins, and pins, and for those I would have to go to town, into one of the Spanish farmacias. A young man, asking for such things … Would they even sell them to me? Perhaps I could say they were for Lady Bailey.

Lady Bailey. She would have something to deal with this. Her room was always in a state of chaos; she might not even notice that anything was missing. It was risky, but what choice did I have?

By the time I made it to the kitchen, dressed and wrapped in the kitchen apron, I felt as if I was going to vomit. Bouzid came in to tell me that madame would take some coffee in the garden. I nodded, and if he noticed that I was pale and sweating, he didn’t comment.

The fact that Lady Bailey was in the garden was good. She often sat out for a long time before it got too hot, listening to the birds, smoking endless cigarettes. Her room would be empty.

She was in her usual place, the bench by the lilies. I greeted her quietly, setting the tray down beside her. Between my legs I could feel a creeping dampness and I prayed to any god who was listening that I had tied the bandages well enough, that nothing would stain my beautiful suit.