‘I want to know about the kissing aspect,’ Jack teased. ‘Has someone got a mystery boyfriend? Or girlfriend, come to that?’

‘Oh, shut up, Jack,’ said Izzie, her hands curling into impotent fists as the blood rushed to her face.

‘I think she said it was somebody else’s boyfriend,’ Seren said, head cocked slightly, eyes glittering, but her face unreadable.

Oh, crap. Did that mean she had heard?

‘No way! Izzie, you bad girl,’ said Jack, smirking. ‘What happened to sisterhood?’

‘Yes, I hope that’s not true,’ Em said with a frown.

Izzie thought she might throw up. Christ, if only Mum knew the half of it. But what did Seren know? Had she heard Izzie’s actual words or just the boyfriend bit? ‘It’s nobody’s business!’ she shrieked, whirling out of the room, trembling with embarrassment.

‘And she said “shit”,’ she heard Seren add with a note of triumph as she pounded back upstairs again. ‘That’s a bad word, isn’t it, Daddy?’

‘I hope you didn’t say that in front of a child, Isabel,’ her mum’s voice followed her up, disapproval loud and clear with every syllable.

Izzie said several even worse words under her breath as she threw herself back on her bed, punching the pillow a few times. ‘AAAAARRGGHHH!’ she screamed into the mattress.

Aaarrgh, thought Em, rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘Sorry’ to George. Why were their kids so intent on sabotaging this holiday? First it had been her two, swigging alcohol down at the harbour in Falmouth, lucky not to have ended up in the nearest police station following the gallery debacle. Then, first thing that morning, Seren had made a comment over breakfast about hearing some funny noises in the night. ‘It sounded like you, Emma, saying, Ooh ooh ooh!’ she had said, wide-eyed, within everyone’s earshot. Izzie had groaned. Jack had looked distinctly revolted. George, meanwhile, had laughed unhelpfully as Em had to think fast and explain: Ah yes, that was probably when she’d stubbed her toe, nothing to worry about. And now the two girls had had a bust-up, and Izzie had gone off, slamming doors in her wake, just in case anyone was in doubt as to her feelings. Fabulous!

It’s going to be a great holiday and everyone will get on brilliantly, she remembered herself saying to the mirror back home, channelling her wise friend Kathy. Well, she’d got that one wrong.

‘Aren’t you going to tell her off?’ Seren was demanding now, hand on hip. She had luscious pink lips, Seren, and the bottom one was currently sticking far out in extreme indignation.

‘Well, if you were eavesdropping on a private conversation, then I can see why Izzie got annoyed with you,’ Em replied. In other words, no, she wasn’t about to tell her off. Not that she would spell that out quite so specifically. ‘So don’t do it again, okay?’