Hell, I worried about it too, and it pissed me off, because I refused to live in fear. But I wasn’t delusional either, and still spent the night before I picked up my car watching YouTube videos on what to do if you got stopped by the police. I also made sure I kept my license and registration on the visor above the driver seat where it was fully visible and easy to get. I hated having to do that, and how paranoid it made me feel, but I wasn’t a fool. I was pretty good at avoiding things I didn’t want to deal with, but some things you ignored at your own peril.

“Dude, you look mad emo right now.” Nesto’s reproachful tone finally pulled me out of my fretting. “I’ve been standing here for five minutes waiting for you to talk. The fuck, Patrice?”

I rubbed a hand over my face, a little embarrassed. “Sorry. Just got distracted. Yeah, I gave Jude a ride, so he needs one of us to drive him back home.” At the mention of his partner, Nesto’s face lit up as usual.

“Good, he’s been on a carpool kick lately. He’s been taking the bus, trying to be more mindful of the environment.”

Jude had changed Nesto in so many ways. He and I had always been the intense ones in our foursome. Nesto, Camilo, Juanpa and me.

Like me, Nesto had never made time for romance or indulged in situations that could end up messy. He’d taken huge chances when he’d left the city to come here. Put it all on the line with his business and his heart, but it had paid off. Here he was living with a man he loved. His whole life on a different track.

I wanted to talk with Nesto about seeing Easton. I knew I needed some advice, but still couldn’t make myself open my mouth. Why was it so hard for me to talk about this stuff? Nesto was like my brother, we’d seen each other through everything.

Why couldn’t I open up to him about this?

Before I talked myself out of it, I did it. “I ran into Easton last night.” As soon as I mentioned him, an image of how he’d looked filled my head. He’d just been in jeans, a sweater and sandals, but as always it all looked like it was tailor-made for his lean body. The only little bit of imperfection had been his adorably ruffled hair. His dark brown, almost black hair was usually perfectly styled, but last night it had been messy, which only made him that much more appealing to me. Those green eyes flashing with want and something else when he saw me. Surprise and apprehension. Like he’d expected me to be an ass to him.

I knew I’d run into him eventually. This was a small town and we knew a lot of the same people. And no matter how many times I told myself I was here because no one could say no to a tenure track position at an Ivy League school, I couldn’t lie to myself. The fact that Easton lived here had been on my mind in a big way while I was deciding to take this job.